you set me free

I'm moving

2008-07-07T18:32:00.006+08:00

EDITED

I've done what i more or less could, and i feel strangely at peace. Of course, it was painful and frustrating, but we got through it. I have no idea whether the other party is honestly fine with me again, but i'll just stop imagining things, and i'm happy to take it as it is.

For those of you who have noticed, i've removed part of the previous previous post. And for those of you who have read it, i'm just gonna say my reading of it was apparently wrong. I still don't know what it meant, but knowing i was wrong should be good enough. So here it ends.

Goodbye chapter. Hello new one. =)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Aside from all the negative stuff I've been going through, I've been doing a lot of self reflection. (and i do mean A LOT, to the point that i feel quite depressed) I guess it's time to put some thoughts into action.

Once this is over, i'll be moving to wordpress.com. feel free to ask me for the url. =) Thank you dear blog for being there for me for close to 3 years. Thank you dear readers for being part of my life by reading this blog, and especially some of you for helping me sustain it sometimes. Hah.

The main reason for switching blog site is simple really, i hope to make some changes for the better, and the switching sorta signifies that. I also intend to use it as a diary, and wordpress allows the locking of specific posts. If you're curious as to why i dont just keep a written journal, i think the fact that this blog has lasted longer than any of my journaling attempts is a good enough reason.

Dear God, thank You for being with me and molding me all these years, especially the more recent few years. As i continue to blog in another site, i pray that you will help me to make the necessary changes in my character. Thank You for answering my prayers, You truly are a redeemer, saviour and friend. In Jesus' name, Amen.

another emo day

2008-07-06T18:59:00.002+08:00

I didn't feel like i belonged,
and I didn't want to try and belong.
So i left.

Words, a dangerous thing

2008-06-29T22:35:00.007+08:00

EDITED

Oh well, on a happier note, God spoke to Poiema through Aunty Patsy today. Thank You Lord or granting us clean hands and pure hearts! Help us to cling onto Your promise, and never let You go. Amen.
Dance went rather well, as a group, they looked pretty good. Just need to drill a bit more. I'm glad most of the youth were willing to join. Thank God really. Looks like He's started changing most of ou hearts already. =)

Also got a chance to teach the children in Agape after a month. I really miss them. Honestly touched by their sincerity and innocence. Also had another moment of "kids say the darndest things". Hah. Alicia claimed that her mother was "boss" of the family because her father tended to direct her to her mother when asking for permission. Lol.

It's going to be a hectic few months for sure. Can't say i'm prepared for it. This is definitely going to isolate me even more, since i'm already juggling my duties in a few ministries. I guess this year will be a time of testing of some sort. I hope i can cling on to God more than ever. I'm certainly thankful to Him for the break that he has given me. No dance this month, except for the worship week. This is due to the 2nd floor being under renovation, to join the offices of the Chinese and English side. Just another step to building a closer relationship with the Chinese congre =)

Definitely an exciting period of change coming up. I don't know why I foolishly thought that the changes would only take place last year. Now that I think about it, the period of change is probably going to be a few more years, i sense the pace picking up.

Speaking of changes, i'm thinking of moving to LJ. Just the need for... well, a change =) Still thinking about it, but i'll probably get round to doing it... someday. hah.

relationships

2008-06-18T23:09:00.003+08:00

frustrated.
trying to apologise, but it's so hard to
especially when the opportunies are taken away from me.
the more i'm afraid of what the outcome will be,
the more i'll try to avoid it.
but no, i must keep trying,
or the friendships i hope to grow, will be affected.

i'm trying to reach out and give in. but do you realise it?

this week

2008-06-15T22:38:00.007+08:00

Woah, it's been a pretty busy week for me. I prepped dinner with my parents on monday night for Aunt Regina. She graduated first class with honours from NAFA! Congrats! I forgot what subject she took though... =S So anyway, the menu for dinner that night was Lemon-ginger marinated shrimp (for which the marinate was totally delish), toasted tomatoes with mozerella cheese(i love cheese! =)), mashed potatoes with mushroom sauce, salad, and steak! Nainai had grilled fish though, since she doesn't like steak. I also finally know how to make lemon lime and bitters! Fantastic drink i discovered in Australia. Ahha. The wonders of the internet aye.

Then tuesday and wednesday was spent prep-ing for the B2ASE Youth camp that was on Thursday till Saturday. I think overall the camp went well, and although there were still moments where the youth and the BB boys segregated, we managed to form a comfortable relationship with each other. The BBQ was most certainly evidence of that when we all just came together and mixed around, and had fun. Thank God for blessing the weather for the entire camp. His presence was most certainly felt.

One of the newer things in the camp that i tried was eating Gong, i think it's called, basically, SNAILS! MMMMMMMMMmmmmmmm..... Delish! I was sitting with En, Rach Lim, Lyd, TiongWei, and Joel Wong when I saw a plate of snails approach Jason and Iris' table. I was feeling a little adventurous, so i tried it! And Joel Wong tried it too. Haha!

I'm afraid I'm too lazy to blog a detailed account of the camp, but it was most certainly fun. This is despite having to leave halfway for King Lear production at night. Speaking of which, Yanni, Aq and I finally took photos! Haha. Now we no need to complain about never taking photos in the rare times we go out. We're suuuch hardworking students. Hoho. =b But that picture, i'll wait for Yanni to send them to me. Hah. The King Lear production itself was interesting, certain ideas i haven't thought of yet. So it was good exposure, but the endings confused me. Nevertheless, at least i was able to take something away from it right?

Anyway, shall go off for now. I'm meeting Fio, Joey and Eli to study tomorrow. By the way, I'm looking for a new blogskin. Been wanting to change it for awhile now, but it's hard to find one. I'm looking for something bright and fun like the one I'm using now. If any of you have seen anything. Please let me know! Arigato. =)

Toodles and G'night!

ramblings

2008-06-04T18:06:00.003+08:00

I discovered a new webcomic- garfield minus garfield. It really is quite hilarious, poor Jon looks like more of a nutcase than just a nerd now that garfield is taken away. Some of the strips don't make sense though..

Midterms are finally over, so i'm quite happy. I'm also excited for the Youth BB camp that's coming up next week, although i would be missing most of the action since i have to go and watch a King Lear production =( Still, better than nothing eh. And i do think the production will be worth the money and sacrifice. Sorry dear Ariel for leaving you at camp, but you'll be ok with sis and the other girls since you've befriended them last year already eh.

Watched Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull yesterday with the family to celebrate finishing the midterms. Wahaha. It was pretty good i must say, although the ending spoilt the movie. I'm not going to say why though, in case any of you out there intend to watch it. If you're really curious then just ask me personally. The movie had a foward moving pace though, such that i didn't feel the 2 hour length of the movie. It also managed to retain the Indiana Jones feeling or atmosphere, so i give it 3 out of 5 stars.

That's it for today's rambling i suppose. see y'all another time.

i wuz tagged

2008-06-01T23:22:00.004+08:00

Hellooo little people, i'm back cos i've been tagged! so thanks Joel Wong for keeping this blog alive!

1. Who are you chatting with now?:
Jia En and Joel Wong
2. What do you want the most now?:
BACKPACKING. who wants to join me??
3. What's going to happen tomorrow?:
study for lit paper on tues =S
4. Do you hate your friends sometimes?:
no, definitely not.
5. When do you wish to die?:
i wouldn't know. dont exactly have tt wish popping up.
6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?:
I've seen many =)
7. What impossible things you would wish to do?:
Uh.. fly? Hah! I don't know. meet some of the jdrama stars i s'pose.
8. Do you believe in eternal love?:
God's love is eternal =)
9. Have you broken someone's heart that he/she tried to commit suicide?:
No, don't think so.
10. Where is your favourite holiday destination?:
At the moment it's Australia.
11. Describe your other half.:
You mean my doppelganger?? She'd be scary and mean! o.O
12. What feelings do you hate the most?:
Lonliness
13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?:
I try to, but i know i gotta try harder.
14. What're you looking forward to in the coming weeks?:
Youth-BB camp, the Quahes coming, HOLIDAYS
15. The most important thing in your life.:
God, Family, Friends
16. Who do you hope to be always there for you?:
God, Family, Friends
17. Do you find life meaningless?:
Nah~ I live for God.
18. Have you ever loved someone?:
Meh, i love God, my family, and friends. tt's about it really.
19. List one thing that you're scared of.:
being alone in the dark. but im getting over tt.
20. What's your greatest wish?:
Right now, BACKPACKING.
21. What if one of your loves betrayed you?:
Loves?? tt makes me sound like a... nvrmind. i'm changing it to "loved ones". well, then i'll have to learn forgiveness innit.
Instructions: Remove 1 question from above and replace it with your own. Tag 7 people, list them out at the end of the post. Notify them in their chatterbox that they've been tagged.
1.jiaen
2.lydia
3.fiona
4.and whoever else who still reads my blog since im too lazee to tag
5.
6.
7.

i'm breaking the rules and adding one more qns. HAH.
22. What is the one thing you'd never tell your parents?
my blog address!

dying

2008-05-26T18:13:00.003+08:00

I'm dying, or more like my brain is. I can't handle the amount of stats for history man, i just can't! Studying for econs was so much better =( I'm glad the A levels is putting a hist paper first, then i can offload the information and focus on the other papers =S

But you know what? I can't believe the papers are going to be over so soon! This friday is the second last paper, then next tuesday is the END~ Wheeheeheeheeheeeeeee!!! I cannot wait to start enjoying the holidays, although of course, there will still be studying, but at least there isn't an upcoming exam straight after hols to loom over my head. So i shall persevere on! Jia you!

emo

2008-05-19T15:23:00.002+08:00

At the moment, i'm feeling sian, tired.

Midterms tomorrow. DIE. I must admit I'm not studying as hard as i know i can and should. Oh well, whatever. Not too sure why, but i don't feel very affected by midterms. I need to stress myself out more. Hah.

PMS-ing sucks, i get all emo and even the smallest stuff pisses me off and makes me wanna cry. Not like anyone would care anyway. It's just small stuff afterall, so no big deal right? If you're agreeing, then well, some friend you are.

Sorry, just being bitter. =) PMS-ing makes me remember unhappy things see, times when friends and family just can't give two hoots about me. So carry on, it's no big. Just turns on the waterworks every month. Thanks for making me cry y'all. Really appreciate it.

2008-04-29T22:32:00.000+08:00

Personality Disorder Test Results

Paranoid	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%
Schizoid	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	38%
Schizotypal	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	46%
Antisocial	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	34%
Borderline	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	34%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Narcissistic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	34%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|\|\|	22%
Dependent	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	54%
Obsessive-Compulsive	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%

Take Free Personality Disorder Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

sleep

2008-04-26T20:17:00.003+08:00

for the curious people out there, if any, who are wondering what happened to me. i have just one thing to say...

I'M EXHAUSTED AND JUST REALLY DRAINED. Lord, give me strength!

i think i'm taking up more things than i can handle. hopefully, i'll pull through May. definitely have to consider cutting down my responsibilities next half of the year. otherwise, i'll just be killing myself with overwork.

i want my sleep!
zzz

today

2008-04-15T20:41:00.014+08:00

Didn't go to school today. I woke up at 5.30am with bad cramps. Well, cramps for nearly the whole day actually, so i'm glad about the decision i made to not go to school. I guess this is God's way of getting me to rest finally? Hah. Who knows. But rest i certainly did, i laid around the house all day with a hot pack.

Slept until about lunch time i think.

Felt slightly guilty, so i read up chapter 2 of global economy.

Cabaled. Bleach-ed. Watched a bit of tv. Surfed the net.

Maybe i should do the inflation questions for ERP or read up on econs. Hm...

Nah. Today's rest day. Thank goodness tomorrow is SRJC olympics, so no lessons. Otherwise i don't know how i'll catch up.

Anyway, thought about yesterday's 4/4 reunion dinner. Burnt a big hole in my pocket definitely, since the class spent dinner at Seoul Garden. Looks like i'll have to save up a bit for the next few weeks or so.. =(

I also finally took some more pictures on Sunday at the badminton hall with En and Lyd. I realised how much i miss playing badminton on Sundays after church when i was a kid. Hopefully, we'll start to stay back in church more often. XD

Dying for bubbletea! Emo shots always rock XD

Oooooooo~ ghosts! FATAL FRAME!

xi, nu, ai, le

Then on Friday it was the Planetshakers + Tim Huges praise and worship! It was good. A lot of people turned up. Nice to see the body of Christ coming together to worship God in one place. It was just awesome =)

Anyway, that's all i have for today. see you another time!

appreciation

2008-04-09T22:42:00.002+08:00

Got a chance to play the guitar tonight, and fiddled with the piano.

I miss my instruments =)

Funny how we hardly ever fully appreciate something until it is denied from us. Dad just shared with us about Nainai's bone density lowering especially backbone and hip area. I know it's a natural thing, but it just hit me that she's old and aging, and i might not see her soon. I prayed for her, because the doc said the process of lowering density in the bones can still be reversed, and i cried at the realisation. I'm gonna try harder to appreciate her more from now on, though it can get difficul at times. when her good intentions are misread or misunderstood.

Thanks nainai, for all that you've done for me. the sacrifices you've made. the love you give. though you cant read this and wouldn't be reading this, i love you dear grandma. =)

2008-03-30T23:11:00.004+08:00

Well, im here to blog again, mostly because i told JIAEN and LYDIA that i would last night/ morning/ night. All i can say is that this week has been pretty busy because of all the corrections to complete and filing to do. I'm already starting to feel pressure from school, and considering the fact that this is my first time feeling such pressure, I REALLY DON'T LIKE IT.

Still, despite the pressure, i seem to be able to find time to watch my jap drama. hah. man am i screwed. but no more! this will not last! because i lost interest in the leading man! wahahaha. so there is nothing left to tempt meeeeee. and so! i shall persevere on for mid-yrs!
starting tomorrow, since i end at 1.30pm, i must start studying! =S This year is probably going to be like a marathon, stretched out over 8 months! (thanks to joel kuan for the reminder) sad ah sad. I will soon have no life.

mum and dad are coming back from vietnam tomorrow too! yayness. i miss them lots, especially with my brother being difficult sometimes. haha. i can't wait to see the photos/ videos mum would've taken, knowing her, as well as the stuff they bought. so exciting!

another thing to mention is, I WANT A KOREAN SKATEBOARD. i finally got the hang of it today, more or less. it's definitely an improvement from the last time i tried it. this has led to further interest in it. too bad it costs about 100 bucks. whaaat only man. this leads me to think about econs and exchange rate etc. oh no! school is invading my whole life! scary. so anyway, no korean skateboard i guess. apparently, there are people trying to import them and sell in Singapore, but i think it'll be too expensive for it to become a fad. who knows, there are lots of ~~rich kids~~ kids with rich parents nowadays.

oh man, it's past my bedtime. all i have to say for now is, praise God for sustaining me. jia en go and blog! and g'night world!

March hols

2008-03-15T21:03:00.011+08:00

The March holidays are going to be over, and man did i waste my holidays away. haha. last chance to do so man, for this year anyway. Spent my time playing cabal online until i've become seriously sian of it! like finally, im not so into cabal anymore. Anyway, here are the highlights of the week:

Wednesday

Revelations' first cell outing! Unfortunately, only 5 people could make it - Joel, James, Yan Jun, En and I. Nevertheless, we had fun bowling and playing pool. JiaEn and I were the third lot to arrive at CityHall, and man oh man, i really forgot to bring socks for bowling althoughi told myself that morning to bring it! Haish... Sarah you are such a sad case. =(

As expected, i really suck at bowling. =S Even En who said she doens't know how to bowl can score high. James is the best, he got 100 in the second game, and to think he said he doesn't really know how to bowl! Oh well, i still had fun with bowling, and i think i improved. =) It was quite funny though, because apparently we were 'soft bowling' and so the machine to change the pins ended up lagging most of the time. Haha!

Then a group of oldies came to bowl in the 2 lanes next to us. Waaahhh~ first person, first throw can strike somemore! They were all super enthusiastic as well, i suspect is some company bonding thing, since they all put on the same shirt with some logo on it. We followed their enthusiasm, but good thing we were going to end. Otherwise i'll feel super paiseh ah.

I forgot to rotate the pic up here, Joel and YanJun looking cool while bowling! haha.

The order is as follows: Y- YanJun, J - Joel Wong, J - James Ng, S - Sarah K, J - JiaEn

As you can see, James and En are the top two!

Then since Joel and I had to wait for the steam boat, we had about 2 hours to kill. That's when we decided to go play pool, since there were no good movies to watch. I can't believe i can actually play pool because in mad gdns, when i play billiard with daddy, i really really suck. =S Looks like all the practice worked! That, or pool is just a lot easier to play...

Getting ready for the next game... Team Joel and James vs Team YanJun JiaEn and Sarah

All you have to do is aim... and shoot!

And when the game ends... you return the stuff~

All i can say is, while we had fun, hopefully more will join us next time - whenever that will be. Steamboat was alright i s'pose, didn't eat as much as we paid. Though the exciting part is after the steamboat, on our way home. When we ended up standed in the middle of the ECP because the car had no petrol! Dad immediately called mother to get petrol. My goodness. Really thank God that we ended up on the triangle (i believe it's called an island), though it was still scary. Everytime a vehicle drove too near the car would shake, especially with the bigger ones like buses or trucks. =S Joel and I was snapping away, well, Joel more so i think. Ahha. Sorry Joel, but only two pictures are up. It was drizzling too, and the car got fogged up pretty soon.

After an hour's wait, mum arrived with the petrol and off we went to pump more petrol for the car. All of us ended up having to pee, which i think was the soup from the steamboat, and so were hungry again! Haha.

Back view of the car, and the sign to remember where we stopped.

So that was the most exciting day ever.

Thursday

Thursday wasn't as eventful, went to support Daphne at her dip show but couldn't stay for long. I realised how much more fun i'm having with Poiema peeps than my classmates, looks like i'll have to improve the relationship with my classmates then. I left quite early to go for 2A01's bbq at Cheryl's place. The only picture i have though, is this...

Our imitation of Akira and Nobuta after watching Nobuta wo Produce. A big F for it, but hey, we tried =)

That's about all i have to say for now, if i have more, i'll edit this again.

it's over!

2008-03-06T22:53:00.002+08:00

IT'S OVER! Common tests that is, and the fact that it cannot make it. So yeah, my attempt at a pun, though maybe not a very good one. =S I cannot believe that i actually felt scared for this CT, and it was kinda like worse than promos for me because promos was no stress for me man. Not that i found it easy, but it was the usual calm that helped me get through it. This one was so different, and weird. I'm glad that i usually am no stress! I can't imagine feeling the panic every test or quiz or whatever. =S Now all i can do is pray that i perform my usual (or better!) so that my parents won't say anything. For some reason, in this CT, i felt pressure from my parents although they were hardly giving me any pressure. Probably because i know the expectations that they have for me.

Oh well, all i can do now is wait, and while waiting, i'll be playing CABAL ONLINE. Thanks to Ariel, i'm hooked baby! hahahaha. It's got the Sims2-look-with-Halo-moving-feeling-and-maple's-kinda-aim-but-with-more-quests online game. In other words, my kinda game! Wahahaha~ That is why i'm going to play it now! so toodles~

woah.

2008-03-01T21:58:00.002+08:00

woah. i can't believe it's almost a month since i've last blogged. hah. and to think, the last entry was chinese new year! oh man. well, it's not that i have nothing to say, it may be because i have too much to say. Though for some strange reason, when i'm finally about to go blog, laziness hits, or i just lose the words in my head. Still, i know that's no excuse eh. which is why i'm here! haha. just to prove that LEE JIA EN wrong~! rawrrrr~~

well, overall, this month has been a lot about finding balance between school, studies, church, God and my free time. (btw, i stopped reading my econs to do this. so much for balance. hah) and also about trying to place God first, to see Him in simple daily things or situations etc. He also showed me a lot of things about myself that needs to change. So i'm entrusting them into His hands, to help me grow.

Maybe i should also mention a few big events that came up this month:

straight after CNY was Literature night! It was on the night after valentine's, and it was awesome, i thoroughly enjoyed myself. The class also managed to pull off the singing. I say 'managed to' because there were a lot of problems, tension, and drama that went behind the scenes. So for the final product to be a success... well, it's really great. I can't wait to go for next year's one already, although i still have As to contend with.

Dad also started Masterlife: student edition with some of us. I must say, i'm glad to finally resume a more stable quiet time. God has really spoken to me through this material. We're going a bit slow, but it's alright. I guess some of us are still adjusting. I must say, it's weird to meet up with a cell group on friday. The last time i remember that happening was when i was a kid, and that was because i was going to play some games (like masak masak) with sis and Joshua. Haha. At the same time, it's nice to finally get to know more about some people, and how they're doing in life.
I can't believe how Poiema is a small, yet big group, such that there are some people we jsut don't talk to unless we're made to work together. I s'pose i should try and break out of the introvert mode, and speak out and up more again to some people. Though, i am afraid that if i do that, i'll be deemed weird and kaypoh etc. and i dont know how to talk to some people. it seems the only common ground i can find is school =S

i also finally got to meet Fiona, Eli and Jean! Jean has become a bimbo~! oh no, the world is coming to an end! XD nah, just kidding. i was s'posed to meet them for dinner yesterday, but they came too late, and i had to run off for cell. still, it was nice seeing them, especially since i hardly get to. YOU GIRLS ARE MISSED.

and next week, there's Common Test (starting this Mon!! AAAH!) I'm am so not prepared for it. oh well, whatever happens, happens. i just cannot wait for the march hols that would follow!! hohoho! this is my last chance to really enjoy myself man, becuse june hols and sept hols will be study study study! =( also, it will be a good period of rest for me. finding the balance for all these things have been real hard on me, and i'm feeling quite tired from it all.

that's about all i have to say. so, g'night world =) see you when i see you!

happy cny =)

2008-02-09T18:02:00.000+08:00

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!!! =)

Release

2008-01-21T22:21:00.000+08:00

Worship retreat on Friday and Saturday was great. Pastor Philip Huan was, as expected, good with his teaching, i guess partly because he has the experience of being in the worship team before. I really learnt quite a bit about the role of the worship team through the Levites, although there wasn't a lot of mention about dancers and how they can play a part. Still, it was definitely a learning experience. I think what struck me the most was how special the Levites actually were. I have read about the Levites before through a dance book that Aunty Patsy loaned to me and i knew they were specially chosen by God, but it never occured to me the extent of the importance of the Levites.

Apart from the teaching, the games were fun. Uncle Tat Jin's friend was hired to help run the thing, and i have to say, he is good at what he is doing. Not only did he use the games for bonding, but he also used them to link to the worship ministry, having been in it before. So he illustrated a few good points while we played. I really liked the blindfolded one, where he put Aunty Yeep on 'mc', to illustrate the fact that the leader may not always be around to guide the team. I think that's real great. All in all, it was a fun time.

The one thing about this 'camp' that really helped me was to find release, for those of you who know what i'm talking about. I never really wanted to tell anyone, and i still feel like hiding in the ground for suddenly blurting such stuff. What i must say is thank you, because the messages didn't just help me continue dancing, but they erased a lot of the negitivity that surrounded me. The other moment of releasing was during worship on Friday night, i actually cried quite badly, if anybody noticed the amount of tissue i used. Heh heh. So yup, thanks for the encouragement, written and said to me after i spilled everything. It's still going to be an uphill battle though for most part i've 'recovered', and i hope that no one apart from those in the room will know about this.

So my prayer at the moment is that I will overcome this problem. I know it's the work of the devil, and I know that God will help get me through this!
Oh Lord, keep my eyes trained on You, so that i will see what is good and holy. Please help me to recognise the encouragement and positive feedback i receive, and learn to accept them. But don't let me be proud because of them Lord. In Jesus' name, Amen

busy

2008-01-15T23:05:00.000+08:00

It's just the beginning of the year and already i feel the busyness of it. I s'pose compared to later in the year though, i better be thankful for whatever free time i have now, since i'll be busy with the A levels. So far, i'm pretty satisfied with the new teachers my class have gotten. They have been really good so far, and they are strict, so it helps the class to work. I think God knew we needed them, that's why there's so many changes. =)

The class is also smaller now, though only slightly, and while i miss those who are not here, there's a slightly more cosy feeling. Maybe it's just me, but i certainly like it. Of course though, the cliques stay pretty much the same, roughly.

Recently though, I haven't been able to go for dance and band or arrange a math tuition session with MengHwee. Gah! I pray hard that I still will be church-ing on Saturdays, for these 3 things. It should be a lot easier though, when we move to tampines. (which is soon! yay!) I have a feeling that later in year i might have to drop out of something though, since i also have Agape teaching to deal with. Oh Lord keep me strong!

Oh yes, and on Sun i shared about the difficulty of comtroling my spending on food. Well, this week, I've already gone over budget on Monday. =S It's going to be a long climb up the mountain of financial discipline. I'll really need God's help with this too! Plus i wanna shop for new year clothes. Haha. I've been hit by the shopping bug again. Anybody want to join me? Hee.
Still, i should be able to tithe what i want to this month.

Anyway, it's getting late and i want my sleep. I'll try to post pictures sometime soon, since a certain somebody is demanding for it. Hah. G'night!

New Year

2008-01-01T17:16:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year to all you little people out there! OH man, I can't believe it's really 2008, A levels is coming soon! What a scary thought =S And i'm only 2 years away from being 20~! O.O An even scarier thought. Woah man, time passes by REALLY fast. Well, i thank God for His presence and providence for the past year. I never expected it to be such a time of growing, of learning. But i know that this year, more pruning will also take place.

My prayer for this year is His strength, since this year will be a busy year. Aside from A levels, i'm teaching in Agape, training in Dance ministry which is part of the worship team, going to teach keyboard to youthies and cont with the band. It aleady feels quite busy to me, but i know that i haven't got the worst of it. There are others who will be busier than i can ever be. I also pray for the relationships that will be formed, and altered in this year. I hope i won't cause too many old friendships to fade, as new ones are made.

In fact, i sense that things will change quite drastically for me, as if there's going to be a lot of 'new'. New house, new relationships, new responsibilities, new discoveries, new lessons, new new new. Though i'm sure most of the old will still be retained, most of it, i hope. and that i will hold on to God and not let go. After all, there are two things in life that's constant: change and God. So as change takes place, God will bring me through it.

I also pray that this year will really bring me closer to God. Not just because of exams, but because i'll need Him more than ever. So yeah, i'd like an opportunity to grow closer and to get to know God better. This year has to be really God-centred alright (not that other years don't need to be) since i can easily lose sight of Him through all the 'busyness'.

Discipline is another area that i hope to improve. Looks like it's gotta be less of the computer for me =( BUT! it's for my own good! discipline to study for As, and study God's word, among other things that i've yet to think of.
and Direction in my life as i decide what to do for uni, what course to take and what my future may hold.

SO, all this i put into God's hands, and trust in His plan.
In Jesus' name, Amen.

the coming year

2007-12-29T22:40:00.000+08:00

well, the month, and the year, is almost over. another time for reflection, planning, and resolutions. =) (not that they ever work for me anyway =S) before that though, let me just say that,

THIS HAS BEEN SUCH A BUSY MONTH.

To think, holidays were meant to be a time of relaxation. Instead, i have a packed timetable. Honestly teachers, you shouldn't give us so much homework. There are people who have things to do during the holidays. First of all was ARISE! that took place in the beginning of the month. So many dance practises to try and perfect the movements for the Lord. Seriously though, with 228 salvations in total, God deserves all the glory. That was followed straight after by church camp. I did go away learning something, but the fact that i was there for the second half didn't really feel very satisfying.

The Quahes arrived on the 21st, so before that, i did as much homework as possible. managed to catch up with Fio by studying with her at the library =) Good times, man. We should do it more often k Fio? Unfortunately, i missed out on studying with Eli Chew. In fact, i didn't get a chance to meet up with the family, due to clashes of timetable. Pshucks. I did get to dinner with Deb, Cass and Crys though. =) Good to see that they are still somewhat the same. Of course, there were certain changes. i suppose we've all grown up a little bit this past year. Still, to have it feel like we were in 4o4 again was a good feeling. To know that no matter what happens, we can still talk and have fun like old times.

I'm also having a great time with Ariel here! She can finally stay long enough for her to properly get to know the poiemians. hopefully, next year, i'll be able to go to Thailand after As! I'll be praying about it.

Then there's Christmas, i was Mary without a Joseph in the skit =) So rehearsals throughout the month, but they were pretty fun times. Jana and Caleb were the cutest of the lot, since they played as sheep! Haha. Absolutely adorable, though they were quite a headache backstage =S Still, who wouldn't love them? They were real perfect for sheep. Fit the role quite naturally actually, i think it's because they are naturally... round. Heh.

Straight after Christmas was clergy family retreat. I'll admit, i was apprehensive about it, but i did learn something about the Lord reigning in our families, which was the theme. We were at the Palm Resot in JB for that. It's funny how we humans tend to look at the most obvious evidence to prove that God reigns in our lives, through providence - financially, emotionally, mentally, physically etc. Yet we forget the fact that, for us families that can still get along generally well despite small squabbles and fight is also a good proof. I guess it's because we're too used to knowing that, despite all the quarrels, the relationship between the family is going to be alright. Hence we dont notice that God's hand on the family is the reason our family is still together. But the most important way to know that God is reigning in our lives is our relationship with Him, to keep that relationship strong despite the good and bad times.To surrender all control and let God. that's what i learnt during the retreat.

another thing i learnt about myself is that i managed to pretty much stay real to myself. it might sound weird, but i had actually promised myself that i will try to stay as the real me in no matter what situation, with whatever group of friends. And at the very least, not lie to myself or God. I learnt this from reading about Rachel in the Columbia High killing. Some of you would have already read that. So when i took this personality test during the retreat, and found out that my "adapted" self and "natural" self are similar, i was quite happy. It may be no big deal for you people out there, but it's a big deal to me. I sometimes thought I was losing my identity (whoo~ lit! haha) because i feared that i'd become my "mask", that's why when i read the book about Rachel (this was quite long ago) i promised myself that. Just to maintain my sanity =)

Anyway, after the retreat was the overnight camp! Which was just last night/ this morning. Fun fun fun! The camp committee did a good job with this one. Although it was something short and sweet, it was different from the previous camps. And the group was great! =D Though that leaves me with a headache right now, and i'm still super tired. I think there's gonna be another sleepover at church after countdown service on New Year's eve. Oh Lord, please let me survive the coming days. Cleaning up the third floor of the counselling centre tomorrow too! Whoo boy~ I really need to find time to finish up one more hist essay and econs tutorial.

OH dear, i think if i continue with relfection for next year, the post will become extra long. Haha. Anyway, my head hurts too much to think anymore. I best be sleeping now, shall do reflection soon! G'night!

i'm back!

2007-12-13T22:17:00.000+08:00

Hello hello to all you little people out there still reading my blog =)) Though i highly doubt it anymore because of slooowww updates. Hah. Anyway, just got back from church camp at Malacca yesterday, so yes,

I'M NOT DEAD TO THE WORLD OK.

Church camp was pretty ok, though i do feel sorry for the number of people who suffered from food poisoning and etc. Ben managed to get a swellin on his finger by POKING JOSEPH'S TUMMY. What's up with that man. Hahah. Joseph's stomach is real power is all i can say. He's Mr Iron Man!
Besides that, I must say that God made good use of this church camp to speak about the relationship between the Chinese and English Congregation. There was a sort of reconciliation that took place. It's really awesome how God works to unite a church further. Though i suspect it'll need a lot of work before both congre can really unite as one! But I'm sure God will help make it work =)

Apart from that, before camp was ARISE! and it was a great success i must say. 228 salvations! Plus, Wangster(Abi) wrote her first song! Praise the Lord! Staying at the salvation army was fun although it was only for a few days. Random call to En ended up with a chat btw Abi, En, Char and I late into the night one. hoho! XD Made a few new friends too, that will hopefully last for a long time, because the dancers are bound to get together for events in the future.

Oh well, it's back to furni hunting for the family! I'm so excited. Rach and I saw a real cool bed today! Unfortunately, there's a high likelihood it's too big for our room. =( Shucks. Praying real hard that it's gonna be possible! Cause we really really like the bed man! It's so cool the stuff that furni designers can come up with today. Ben also saw something he liked, but it's definitely too big for his room. Too bad, but i'm sure we can find something better!

Studying tomorrow, well homeworking is more like it, at trl! En's going to join me. Gonna be lots of fun! See y'all arnd!

2007-11-30T16:38:00.000+08:00

So bored. I've been fooling around with sister's tablet all day. In the end, only saved two pictures thac

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACHEL AND AUNT GINA!

Here's one of the images that i created

it's incomplete, because i didn't know how to approach it, ideas anyone? And because the colour is so light, i can adjust tons of stuff.

MAN, I REALLY WISH I HAD RACHIE'S LAPTOP!

Oh well, that's all for today. see you arnd!

inadequate

2007-11-24T23:47:00.000+08:00

Once again comes
the overwhelming feelings
of extreme loneliness
and inadequacy
that i can't seem
to escape from.
i keep telling myself
i need a good slap
in the face
to wake up from this
nightmare.
to face the reality
where the truth
hopefully, would be
that i'm not alone and
capable of many a great thing.

Oh God
Hear my Cry
Let me know
You are Here

today

2007-11-18T23:04:00.000+08:00

I think i shouldn't have eaten the mutton tomato for lunch today, because my throat is itching now. Well, not really itching, but my coughing has been really bad, causing my throat to go sore. And the Mutton tomato was SPICY. Hmm.... Ugh. I hope this doesn't last.

Before that, for youth, Mr P shared with us about prayer. It was actually a very good sharing. I never saw prayer that way until he pointed it out. Help us to pray more often Lord, to build that love relationship with You and to grow in confidence and authority when we pray.

Anyway, went for Nicole's(cousin's) confirmation at Church of the Holy Trinity today. There were 182 candidates, so i couldn't spot her at all. Hah. Sad man. Us Seahs had to stand for the entire service though. Bleh~ I s'pose it wasn't too bad because we missed the worship at the beginning since we were late. Heh. That's why we ended up standing.

Spent time with Aunt Gina at Starbucks, Mum and her were telling childhood stories, the funny ones at that. Haha! I wonder if I'll have stories to tell when I'm older. It would be quite cool man. On another note, the Hot chocolate also probably helped kill my throat. =S Still, it was an enjoyable moment of rest from all the standing. Haha.

Finally saw Nicki at her place for dinner. I didn't eat anything though, i was full from Starbucks. Which was quite saddening because Aunty Tina whips up a mean Shepherd's Pie. Mmmm... Sis and I hung out with Nicki in her room. Gossiped a bit about the teachers in KCS. Heh heh. Man i miss that school! Good luck to Nicki's pursuit of doing forensics. =S

I pray that God will really use her and grow her according to His word. Amen.

Oh well, that's all for today. The Quahes are coming on the 21st of Dec! Yayness. I just can't wait. XD

events

2007-11-14T23:05:00.000+08:00

It's exactly 10 days after I've last blogged. Time to catch up on some events i guess. School lectures have started, considering that PW is OVER. I really thank God for giving me a cooperative group, some of the horror stories i've seen and heard just make me appreciate them so much more. I have also certainly learnt a few things through being a leader, just another way through which God has grown me i s'pose. Everything is in God's hands now, always has been.

Fell sick last night, with fever. FINALLY. Though I'm once again reminded of why I don't like falling sick. Bleh. Didn't go to school today because my nose wouldn't stop running. I could imagine myself being a distraction during hist lecture with my nose blowing. HAH. Oh well, it was a good day of rest =)

Got a chance to watch Stardust! Woot! It's definitely worth watching, I love the way the story was told. Just don't book the front row seats, my butt was aching by the end of it. I watched it with En, Rach Lim and Lyd. Sorry girls for dragging you along! At least you liked the movie aye? Bee movie on the other hand was disappointing because the storyline was just lame. The humour sort of made up for it, but not enough.

I better go to sleep now, Econs lecture at 8am tmr. G'night world!

back

2007-11-04T22:38:00.000+08:00

Hello~! Life support back to maintain the life of this dying blog. HAH.

Anyway, yesterday was really tiring. I was out the whole day. Piano lesson with Ben from 10am - 12pm. Then brought him to macs for lunch. Had dance practice with aunty Patsy at 2pm till 4.45pm. That's when the poiemians started coming for the BBQ just outside the cc! Oh man. So much fun. Haha. Thanks many many to those who BBQ-ed the food! After eating, basically played games all the way till 9.30pm. Haha! The name game was reallly fun, cos we kept switching places. Too bad no one to get the hang of the tempo game yet though. Nevermind, we shall persevere and try it again sometime soon. =)

Daddy's ordination was today, and man was the service looong~! I was kinda falling asleep during the sermon part though. The preacher dude preached almost the same things as pst Derek did this morning. Haha! I was kinda shocked. I was thinking maybe they put the sermon together or something like that for all pastors across churches to use. HAH. That would be too funny. Or maybe it was telepathy! XD

Oh well, holiday tomorrow. I'll have to work on the slides though, for OP on tues. Not to forget the I&R. Bleeh~!

G'night everybody~

Drama

2007-10-24T19:48:00.000+08:00

All I can say at the mo is "Drama drama drama!"

All for You

2007-10-18T21:24:00.001+08:00

I've been thinking about how I've been living life lately, because something didn't feel quite right, like something is missing y'know? Then I thought to myself, when was the last time i thought about God? Sure, I've started going for dance, but I wasn't there 100% spiritually, i was merely going through the movements, and it wasn't enough.

So I've found my missing thing - God.

It's strange how I much i cannot do without Him in my life. Well, it isn't meant to be strange i guess. It's what we were created for right? To have that relationship with Him, and worship Him with everything that we do. To be so dependent on Him that to leave Him is so hard. (Well, i s'pose it can be quite easy for some) Yet, I still stray. Time and time again I've disappointed Him, and time and time again I run back to Him in tears and apologies and a renewed determination to stay faithful.

I guess this time, I've been pushing God away because I cannot bear to sacrifice my time. I can't seem to give it up for Him yet, not completely. I'm too scared, too selfish to do so. Some of you might not know this yet, but I've made to decision to dance for Him. Yeah, I return to the dance ministry. However, aunty Patsy has made me realise that dance is a commitment of time. How i wish i lived in the past, where i would have had a LOT of it. But I'm only 17! It's bad enough that I have JC to deal with =( I want my slacking time, my shopping time, my being with friends time, time for me me ME! Selfish I know, but I'm still young! Why can't I live a little bit more first?? Then devote the rest of my life later. =l

Though, now i know how it feels to live without God (once again) and I DON'T LIKE IT!!! =((( It's awful. I feel sooo.... alone. The empty missing feeling is such a not nice thing to feel please. So I'm doing it, I'm going to return to living for God. But I know it's not going to be easy. God knows how long it took for me to finally be on regular QT. =S Nevertheless, I AM DETERMINED. At least I'm living with some purpose in my life, though it means I'll have to give up on a lot of things, I'm sure. Oh well, I'll get busy one day, eventually. Hah.

This reminds me of the book Evan gave me, a diary series of this girl. I've forgotten her name though. But she has spoken of this kinda situation. Actually, I don't think she encountered this just once. I guess we all are like that. It just amazes me how merciful God is, and the amount of love He has for us.

I'm sorry Lord, for ignoring You. It sucks not having You around. I've decided, I want to give my all for You. Help me to make time for You Lord, to remember the joy in serving You. Thank You for Your neverending love. In Jesus' name, Amen.

today

2007-10-12T22:09:00.000+08:00

Finally got my promos results, and i was right, after all. It sorta was worse than my mid-years. All my H2 deproved except for Lit which maintained it's E. -.- My overall points for promos improved by 1.5 points though, because my H1 subjects actually improved! HAH. Thanks Charmaine for forcing me to do Math. HOHO. I improved by one grade and got S, it's still something right? So oh well, I'm moving on to next year for sure, but i've got to work on my subjects during the holidays i suppose.

However, it's quite depressing as a class because it looks like we won't be able to be together next year. =S I'm really going to miss this class, although i know i don't exactly know many of them on a deeper level. It's still.... I don't know, 1A01 - my class, my classmates. Will be weird if i don't see them around next year. Oh well, shall see how it is next year. I wish them all the best with whatever path they want to take. =)

--------------------------------------

Dad's finally back from retreat! Looks like he's going to be ordained in early November. Hah. He doesn't seem to remember the date accurately though -.- Daddy's really getting old man! haha. Mum says we're going to be up there with him to be prayed for, so... new clothes! new clothes! Hoho. Don't know why, but I've been in a shopping mood these days. Also with cravings for cheese prata, sushi, and chilli crab! Odd combination, i know. What to do, I'm like that. Ahha.

--------------------------------------

I think I'm quite adapted to staying at Toa Payoh already. Man, it's going to be troublesome to move again to Tampines, where I'd have to get used to things again. It didn't really take me long though, so maybe it'll be ok? Then again, I've been to Toa Payoh before when i was a weeee one, and quite often then. That might be why I've adjusted pretty quickly. Still, it feels kinda far from everyone. The East is still the best. =)

Right, that's all i have for today. Toodles~!

101007

2007-10-10T18:13:00.000+08:00

Shopped today!
Met Lionel at about 11am
to look for the class Oct babies prezzies
at Plaza Sing.
Man oh man.
Whoever said homemade gifts are cheaper,
is talking NONSENSE i tell you.
Managed to pull in Steph and Mai though.
So the funding problem is solved! Yay =)

Had Ba Chor Mee for lunch,
and i'm finally sick of it!
Haha. Honestly man,
been eating that quite a few times
from last or last last week? =S
Don't know why also.
Now i have cheese prata craving. Hah.
Anybody wanna eat prata with me?
Also craving for sushi and chilli crab,
but nevermind. Money needs to be saved.

At about 3+pm, i met Jean.
Got a chance to see her boyfriend too.
Smiled at him to say hi,
BUT HE DAO ME.
Whaaaattt only~!
Jean ah Jean!
WHY YOU LET HIM BE SO UNFRIENDLY DE.
Aiiyo, boy ah,
i know Jean is the only girl
worth looking at right now (for you),
but at least say hi larrr...
Nevermind, they can be the DAO COUPLE.
perfect for each other then. hah

And Jean my dear girl,
don't fret too much over the results k.
What's done is done.
Just work harder from now on,
jia you!
The same goes for Fiona.
Much love to you girls.

I'm quite excited about Friday already.
Gah! Why sr so slow in giving back results.

Sorry En that i didn't go to the cc today!
Ahha. Next time bah, next time.
Heh heh.
Oh well, shall go off liao.
Toodles~

It's OVER =D

2007-10-09T16:04:00.000+08:00

It's finally over! The exams and the moving out... This is so surreal man. haha! Though i must admit, staying at toa paoh is a bit troublesome, since it's far from the East, where i can hang out and etc. but at least it's only about a 25 min bus ride to school! waaahaa~ unlike sister's, cos she studies at TJC, the poor thing.

Jia En is finally my god sis! hahaha! She got baptised on Friday~ Woot. Also got a chance to see Daph open her present. XD hilarious man. HAH.

Well, one thing to think about this week. Aunty Patsy wants to push me into leadership and teaching dance, while developing my skills. I remember her saying something like taking me out of Poiema to groom me. I'm praying about that this week, but it kinda feels too much for me. I mean, i just returned to dancing! It's quite scary to take up such a commitment at this age, i wanna have time to play and chilll on Saturdays. Then again, isn't it about the sacrifice? To do this for God, not for me.
Aiiya, i don't know lar. All i can say is i really think this is the area i'm called into. So i s'pose i should just take that jump?

Another thing is exam results. Quite scary because i'll be getting them back on Friday! GAH. Excited and nervous at the same time. It's like, this is more important than O levels was! Haha. Maybe because it is? Heh. I'll get promoted most likely, quite confident about that, but i'm more interested in doing well. Ahha. So shall see how on Friday. I get this feeling that i'll do worse than mid yrs, but i'm leaving it to God..

Oh well, that's all i have for today. So toodles~

random

2007-10-02T13:55:00.000+08:00

I'm back! Haha.
Taking a lunch break at Char's house.
Oh man oh man,
studying SEA is so sian.
I CAN'T STAND IT!
=S
Cold War is so much better,
more straightforward

p.s: I THINK I'M A GOOD HOST :D hahahahaha.

yeah char, veh good host. haha.
and the dad's cooking is the love =)
mmmmmm~
had salmon and fried egg with oyster
last night for dinner at char's too!
should study at her place more often, hoho
X)

huh, and i was chatting with En for a short while,
well, disturbing her is more like it. =b
don't know if she knows that it's me or Char
HAHA!
well, after reading it she'll know for sure!
sorry En! but i really bored of hist =))

i can't wait for FRIDAY!!! haha
going to do some much needed retail therapy
with Yanni and Aqidah, must rmb to take photos man!
though mum thinks it's a really bad time to shop,
since we're moving on Mon ler.
GAH!

I can't believe it's really happening,
we're really moving house~!
quite exciting designing the house,
except i think sis and i have no idea exactly
what we want for our room.
hah.
oh wells, can think about such things after FRIDAY
cos there'll more time then.

meh, it's back to studying again then..
maybe i should do lit now.
aiiyar, irritating.
i gots mood for lit, but
hist is tomorrow.
bleh.
ah well,
toodles~ =)

beauty from pain vid

2007-09-21T22:08:00.000+08:00

I found this Mulan version of the song beauty from pain. I think it's cool. It's the best from what i've watched anyway. (which were a few but then my ears and eyes were like @_@)So here yeah go.

When i was searching on youtube, i realised that some people used this song for anorexics and bulimics! Honestly, what beauty is there in looking like you're about to die from starvation?? At first i was like, man these people are nuts! But then i realised, to them, skinny=beauty and pain of gaining this beauty is worth it to them. Now i just feel sad for them because they don't realise that God made them, and he made them beautiful though they may not be skinny.

OH well, hope you'll enjoy the clip. See you around aye!

Beauty from pain

2007-09-21T20:41:00.000+08:00

Today during King Lear lecture, Ms G once again talked about molding of a person through suffering- how Lear and Gloucester had to go through that to learn from their mistakes. Then when we looked at Lear's and Gloucester's deaths, one of the questions asked was, did they finally learn?

She used the analogies of sword making, pottery, and giving birth to point out that pain and suffering is a way of molding us. Talking to Mum in the car, she commented that it was also like King Nebuchadnezzar whom God made mad, and let him suffer in some sense. (i feel so ashamed, mum never did King Lear and she could draw this link =S )

"The same hour was the thing fulfilled upon Nebuchadnezzar: and he was driven from men, and did eat grass as oxen, and his body was wet with the dew of heaven, till his hairs were grown like eagles' [feathers], and his nails like birds' [claws]. And at the end of the days I Nebuchadnezzar lifted up mine eyes unto heaven, and mine understanding returned unto me, and I blessed the most High, and I praised and honoured him that liveth for ever, whose dominion [is] an everlasting dominion, and his kingdom [is] from generation to generation:" - Dan 4:33-34

So suffering is meant to let us know that something is wrong [with us], and to help us realise things about ourselves, and mold us into Christ-likeness. Wow. Reminds of Deqi's BS teaching on suffering. (see DQ! I paid attention and rmb what you taught!) He used Moses as an example then. But it's really amazing everytime i encounter this idea, whether in school or in the Bible, to become nothing so to achieve something. I've yet to experience such a thing. Man, i feel so pampered. The only pain i ever went through would probably be caning from my parents when i was younger. =S Guess i would really need to learn how to give myself up for God so that he can use me.

Was reminded of this song when Ms G mentioned mothers going through pain to give birth to new life.

Beauty from pain
The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know I'm alive
But I feel like I died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that I made
I try to keep warm but I just grow colder
I feel like I'm slipping away

After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best I can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though I can't understand why this happened
I know that I will when I look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here I am at the end of me
Trying to hold to what I can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to your promise
There will be a dawn

After all this has passed
I still will remain
After I've cried my last
There'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today
Someday I'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. - Matt 16:25

Teach me to give myself up for you oh Lord.

long post

2007-09-06T19:48:00.000+08:00

I'm here to blog. Mainly because En and Fio has bugged me about it. Ahha. I know, i know. My blog has kinda dieded? Ahha. Especially since my last proper entry was like, during national day?

...

Fine~ i KNOW it's dead, showing absolutely no signs of life. Which is why I'm sure to bring life! Ahha. Though i'm not quite sure where I want to start. Lots of things happening for a month about to pass. I realised that I've quite a number of things to say now that I've start blogging. Oh man!

Okay, I think i'll section off my thoughts, but don't expect a coherent flow of any kind.

------------------------------------

everything's changing

when i turn around

all out of my control

i'ma mobile

everything's changing

everywhere i go

out of what i know

i'ma mobile

That's how i've been feeling for the past month, realising that things are still changing. I've drifted from some, grown closer to others. even talked more to those i haven't really talked to. i see friends in secondary school changing as well, when i catch up with them. though it's good to see that they haven't done a 180 degree change. guess some things can never change, and that's a good thing =)

then in poiema, even has stepped down, and dad is on the look out for a youth worker. the pastors are also thinking of what to do with the third and second floor of the cc. we've also found a place to move to, so there'll be a new home.

i'm also figuring out whether God really wants me to go into dance full time. it's gonna take up time and sacrifice for sure. but i'm going to make a commitment i think. no point waiting till i think i'm ready. sometimes, you just gottatake that jump into the waters.

some people have also shown their true colours. the confrontation in the bus was... awkward. guess i picked the wrong timing. intended to pursue the issue online. but, dont wanna bother. can't stand dealing with such people who can't even give a straight answer.

coward.

i never really liked change, though i've come to accept it. thought i could rest from change after finally adjusting to jc life. man was i wrong! guess the next two years will be brimming with change.

-------------------------------------

aqidah, yanni and i finally went out together on monday! we checked all the little boxes of what to do, except to take pictures! Ergg~! and i also didn't get my yakun meal. =( by the time we met up, it was too close to lunch time so they decided NOT to eat yakun despite my craving for it. haish. pity for me then. Ahha. and we walked around tampines mall and century square too many times to count! especially isetan. look like the two malls are undergoing some changes too. maybe it won't be so boring to shop there once we move into our new place in tampines. haha!

i also bough a belt! though i didn't get to find my sunglasses. =( was reluctant to spend on the belt initially, but i had been wanting to buy things for awhile now despite me being broke. haha. aqidah getting the belt as well was just further encouragement. =)

it's quite funny though. this is only the 3rd time we've gone out together, although we've been friends from the start of jc (after Os results) ?? haha! oh man! we need to get out more. maybe after promos then. haha.

------------------------------------------

which reminds me, i got to reunite with kc peeps on teachers day and eli's birthday. ahha. said hi to some of the teachers in kc and caught up with my friends. i thought going back to secondary school would be weird and the teachers would forget us, but i was wrong. haha. lunched with fio, eli, jean, ho fang, and joey twice in the past month. like finally. and got to see sukh, who i thought disappeared from the face of the earth man. ahha. man, i really miss kc days and the teachers. definitely gotta go back next year. hah.

------------------------------------------

got a chance to cut my hair on sunday! FINALLY. thanks lydia for intro-ing me to that shop. it's decent and resonable enough. think i'll be going back there next time. the lady really thinned my hair. haha. so much of it was cut that when we saw the pile on the floor, we knew it'd be enough to make a wig! haha. strangely enough, mum thought i needed to cut more. o.O haha. i'm not going to though, it's thin enough for me.

hung out with en and lyd yesterday too. well, i did work in cc and pei-ed en. lyd just joined us for dinner. thanks for da bao-ing the food up lyd! and for the photoshoped pics, they're really nice~ (i put some of them up on my friendster if any of you are interested) we messed around with the cam on uncle jeff's laptop. hah. still, it can't beat daphne's mac laptop.

---------------------------------------

finally, it's... uh. 20 days to promos! right? haha. oh man, sarah. you need to work harder! the pace ain't fast enough. i'm never gonna make it at this rate. hah. still, i'm feeling pretty calm and relaxed about it, as in, no stress. don't know if that's a good thing though. hah. oh wells. that's all i can think of to say.

g'night world! toodles~!

PS. Fio and En, i hope this post is long enough!

quiz

2007-08-21T21:16:00.000+08:00

List out your top 5 birthday presents you wish for:

1. To be closer to God
2. More clothes/ bags/ shoes
3. A big mug
4. To be a bit more grown up
5. LAPTOP/ or donations to a future backpacking trip will do =)

Answer the following questions:

1. The person who tag you is?
LEE JIA EN

2. Your relationship with her is:
GOOD FRIEND. CRAZY COMPANION! HOHO =D

3. Your 5 impressions of her:
Tall!
Niceee…
Good listener.
Fantastic animal lover.
A bit of a lazee bum XD

4. The most memorable thing she had done for you?
Stayed back and waited for me on Sun! Sowee we couldn’t go anywhere though =S

5. The most memorable words she had said to you?
You Chicken! [-.-]

6. if she becomes your lover, you will?
WHAT. NooooOOOOOO. If that will happen, monkeys will be flying out of my butt. ><

7. if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be?
…. How am I s’posed to know???

8. if he/she becomes your enemy, you will?
Cry. =( It would be so sad to lose such a good friend

9. if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be?
how would I know?

10. the most desired thing you want to do for him/her now is?
get her something when she gets baptized. Hoho. I ain’t saying what

11. your overall impression of him/her is?
Fun to be with =D

12. How do you think people around you will feel about you?
Er… that I’m cute? XD

13. the character you love of yourself is?
Calmness, friends seem to like pointing it out to me. Guess it comes in handy when there’re tests/ exams

14. on the contrary, the character you hate of yourself is?
I can be quite mean. =/

15. the most ideal person you want to be is?
Jesus Christ!

16. for people that care and like you, say something to them.
Thanks for bearing with me and my nonsense, AND I LOVE Y’ALL! BIG HUG PPL!

for people whom i've hurt:
sorry if I’ve done anything to offend any of you, I honestly didn’t mean it

for people whom i love and treasure:
Thanks for being there for me when I needed you, thanks for the laughter, thanks for the love. You people make my life a whole lot more meaningful! =)

17. pass this quiz to 10 people that you wish to know how they feel about you.

1. Jean
2. Fiona
3. JiaEn
4. Elizabeth Chew
5. Patson
6. Lionel
7. Stephanie Quek
8. Lydia
9. Deqi
10. Wei Lun (by request of En).

[please note, if you intend to do this quiz, I advice you to fill in the ten names before you proceed with your reading! It’s no fun otherwise]
[another note, I forgot about the lover qns when I put the names here, until dear En reminded me, sorry guys if you’re uncomfortable with the qns! I’m too lazy to change the names]

who is no.6 having relationship with?
Er… God? I don’t know apart from that

Is no.9 a male or female?
Male

If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
Hm, not sure. They kinda don’t know each other. Maybe?

How bout no.8 and 5?
Haha! Nope. Don’t match at all lar. Why kena all the don’t know each other pair man

What is no.2 studying about?
Eh… Biology and Chem as far as I know. And math I think. What’s your last subj combi Fio?

When was the last time you had a chat with no.3?
We’re chatting right now! XD

What kind of music band does no.8 like?
No idea

Does no.1 has any siblings ?
2 brothers. One in the army and another doing his O levels

Will you woo no.3 ?
Haha! Nope, I’m straight, thanks very much.

How about no.7 ?
Ditto.

Is no.4 single ?
Nope. =)

What is the surname of no.5?
Goh

What is the nickname of no.10?
Lun lor… what else you want man. I guess I could come up with a list…

What is the hobby of no.4?
Listening to her Chinese music I guess…

Do no.5 and 9 get along well?
-.- they don’t know each other. But they probably would. =)

Where is no.2 studying at?
TJC

Talk something casually about no.1?

Have you tried developing feelings for no.8?
… Didn’t I previously mention that I’m straight?

Where does no.9 live at?
Bedok.

What color does no.4 like?
Purple! =) I like it too.

Are no.5 and 1 best friends?
they don’t know each other!

Does no.7 like no.2?
+getting irritated+ they don’t know each other… AGAIN. But I think they’ll make pretty ok friends =)

How do you get to know no.2?
We were sec 1 classmates =D
I’m so glad I know her!

Does no.1 have any pets?
A Jack Russell named Sarah. It was s’posed to be Cera from “Land before Time” but, I guess the spelling got mixed up.

Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world?
HAHA. I don’t know, one of the sexiest I guess, after the slim and sexy Sarah! XD

THE END [whew~ finally!]

Hershey's

2007-08-11T10:00:00.000+08:00

Took this quiz and... well, let's just say i never thought of myself as a Hershey's Bar...

You scored as Hershey Bar,You are a Hershey Bar. You are smooth, original and somewhat old-fashioned. You like to socialize and have the same close childhood friends. Family is very important to you. You are a nice and kind person - the best of the best!

Hershey Bar

75%

Twix

70%

3 Musketeers

70%

Skittles/Gummi Bears

70%

KitKat/Crunch Bar

65%

Reese's Peanut Butter Cup

55%

Jolly Ranchers

50%

M&M\'s

50%

*What Type of Candy Are You?* (w/pics.)
created with QuizFarm.com

Happy National Day!

2007-08-09T12:18:00.000+08:00

Oh man, last night's thanksgiving concert in school was great! The teachers put up a good show alright. I laughed until my throat was sore. Even the principal sang! I also played with the band before the concert! Woots~ Patson said it was pretty good for small band. I've never felt so happy and proud. Hoho. It was real fun last night all right.

Though I feel like such a pig, sleeping so much during the day. Bleh~ Woke up at 7.55am to go for Piano lesson at 8am. Then went for breakfast with Mum. Reached home at about... 11++am? Used the computer for a bit then slept all the way till about 1pm. -.-
Thank goodness band practice started at 3pm otherwise i would've slept some more i think. Mr Tan, my conductor, said, "Sleep is good, you should sleep when you can." Hms, reminds me of somebody... Heh.

Suppered with Yanni, Aqidah, and Patson. Well, all i did was drink sugar cane with lemon. I think I should've eaten something though. I ended up with gastric pain on the bus. And the bus uncle actually stopped at the bus stop opposite KC for 5-10min! Rwar! So irritating. I wanted to just get off the bus and walk home, but my stomuch hurt too much. Good grief. Just because he's early or something doesn't mean he can stop at any bus stop he wants! Especially if there are people on board! Hmph.

Anyway, it's time for lunch now. Toodles people, and

Happy 42nd National Day!

long update

2007-08-07T21:31:00.000+08:00

Well, I'm finally blogging! Shall try to blog more since Jia En has been complaining... She doesn't quite believe that I get brain block i think, when trying to post something. Ahha.

Let's start with some good news shall we?

SCHOOL STARTS AT 4PM FOR ME TMR. BUHAHAHHAAH!
=D

Sorry, just had to do that. Heh.

Followed by a slap in the face (for me)

SARAH!! IT'S TIME TO STOP SLEEPING SO MUCH AND LAZING AROUND!
It's already August, and i think i'm getting lazier by the day. What happened to the drive and motivation that i had before the June hols? This is not good Sarah!!! Must strive hard for promos and aim to get above 60 pts! JIA YOU~

And finally, an update on life at the mo

From what I can remember, there's project work (PW), which have been driving my group nuts. Though, Ms Koh said it was okay, she was able to take up almost an entire period to do group conferencing. Makes me wonder if it's really okay. I do know that the proposal for the showcase needs a lot of work though. Gargh. Now, whenever i see or hear the word "Microsoft", my mind goes 'ping!' and i'm kinda like, "hey! PW - Bill Gates!" I'm sure i'm not the only one who is this strongly affected, Steph has been telling me she feels the same way. Bet that once PW finishes, we'll be so sick of Gates and Microsoft. The way i'm blogging right now makes me feel as if i'm writing an informal written report. Ahha!

Then there was overnight band camp last friday, to which i have to applaud the mini commitee for putting together. It wasn't all that great, but i could tell that they tried. The camp did help me to click with the other girls though, because they realised that i can understand Chinese! The shock on XinYing's face, when she heard that i was chinese, was quite funny. I think maybe that's why i had this vibe that the girls couldn't really talk to me, since they were more fluent in chinese, but spoke to me in english. But yeah, i think we're a somewhat closer group. (I do communicate with them in chinese! hoho)

After the band camp, i came back home and slept till 5pm, gosh! Though, i guess it was kinda expected since i slept at 1.30am the night (day?) before. So i rushed to Kallang Mrt after meeting Sis and Cheryl at Bedok. We skipped dinner because there was a time limit to our special passes, so we went straight to the indoor stadium.
The special passes weren't that great though. I mean, sure, we didn't need to line up, but the ushers kept questioning us about our passes as if we stole them or something! Raahhh~! Just because we're youngsters doesn't mean we're trouble y'know. Sheesh.

Nevertheless, FOP was fantastic! A good mix of Don Moen and Delirious? that led worship. I think it's to cater to the different age groups there. Ahha. The sermon was really good too. Though it was on Lazarus's death, and some points made i've heard before, Pastor Phil managed to give a few new insights. The amazing thing was, i wasn't hungry throughout the entire service till after! God must really be helping me, i get real distracted when i'm hungry.

So En, Lyd, Janell, Benita, Cheryl, Sis and I walked to Macs for supper. Chit-chatted till about midnight? For the first time, we were able to chill and take our time while we're out, instead of having to rush home to sleep! Thanks to us having a sleepover! Hoho. We should so do this next time ladies. Too bad Lyd didn't join us though. When we reached my house at 1am, we continued talking till about 2am and slept, since there was church the next day. We couldn't do much, but the sleepover was still fun. =)

Went home on Sunday after youth just to sleep again. Same thing happened after school on Mon, I slept from 7.30pm to 9.30pm. Then woke up in shock and did history as well as studied for Econs test the next day. It didn't quite help though, i couldn't apply it to the question. Bleh~

Oh yes, and I decided I'll try and put photos up on the blog again. So i'll put up photos of my class, 'cause it's wear your home clothes day today! Hoho.

Keep it touch~
G'night =)

Ending off with a love declaration [demanded for by En]

I LOVE LEE JIA EN~! SHE ROCKS MY STINKIN' SOCKS~ =D

2007-07-31T22:56:00.000+08:00

It's twosday! Alright! The really long tiring days of the week are over~ Now it's time to anticipate the weekend ahead and next week (where there'll only be two days of school, followed by a long weekend! MOOHAHAHAHA)

Had a real funny lecturer for Econs today. First time, i laughed so hard for something as serious as a H2 lecture! A rare lecturer who can mix entertainment and education. Not bad... not bad a'tall. =) I think econs lecture today was the only highlight for today. The rest of the day was pretty tiring. A lot of people have caught the flu virus, i haven't yet though. I don't know if i should be happy or sad, since i'd really like a day off. Hms.

Had a motivational speaker come to speak to us for the promos. He didn't focus on promos though, he focused on life goals, which led me to think of my aim to backpack around the world for a year straight after university. Anybody up for it? One of the things he said we should do once we have our goal(s), is to take action (derr). So i thought of counting the rough cost of the trip. Which i think, will totally demotivate me once i see the amount. Aqidah said i'll "faint at first sight" of it. Ahaha.
Nah, i dont faint over such stuff. Still, I really want it to happen, and not let it be just a dream. Some of you might scoff at the idea, but i don't care~ I WANT TO BACK PACK AROUND THE WORLD. So shoosh, all you little doubting people. Heh.

Yup, so that's it for today. I don't have much else to say, cause i blogged since i was bored. OH yes, while i'm here...

TO ALL POIEMIANS, YOU WANNA GO FOP ON SAT?? LOOK FOR MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!Heh. Okie dokes. Toodles folks!

some things

2007-07-19T18:40:00.000+08:00

Another week has passed...
Well, almost anyway, since today is thursday. I think I'm finally starting to settle into Jc work mode again. Note: the word is "starting".
It's usually difficult for me to adjust to school mode after the holidays and I'll have to battle against laziness. This time is slightly different though, not only do i have to fight against laziness, i also have to be MORE hardworking for promos! Grraagghh... I seriously cannot wait for the end of this year to come, followed by the end of As.
At the same time, i'm quite amazed at how time has passed so quickly. Wasn't it only awhile ago that i was enjoying my first 3 months?? (I wish i still am, blehh~)

Haish, shall stop thinking of hols and play time. Focus on the future!
WORK HARD SARAH.
SARAH JIA YOU~!

On another note, dear Ariel has open up a deviantart account! Whee~ I can finally see her drawings online! Makes me feel like picking up drawing again, I miss doodling and Art, which i had a lot of time for in secondary school. Hmm... Maybe one day, I shall, and be serious about it!

meh

2007-07-06T21:26:00.000+08:00

Well, today was not such a bad day i guess. I got my Hist and GP results! The results are..... [drumroll please]

GP - C
Hist - A

O.O
I want to cry for GP. Especially since i was an 'A' English student in secondary school. A 'C' is really crappy. Though I s'pose English in secondary school is a totally different thing from GP. Meh, that means I really gotta buck up for GP too. urrgghh...

As for hist, well, as some of you know, there were fill-in-the-blanks. So how much did i score for essay really?

17/25- and that's because I finished the blanks thingo in 10-15mins, leaving a nice 1hr 15min for essay. So if i had less time, my essay is prob a C. Oh, and i scored 20.5 for fill-in-the-blanks. =)

So yupp, an 'A' for hist makes me feel... meh. I'm more excited for the re-test, a proper 45 min to do the other question which i didn't go. So i'll know more accurately where i stand, hopefully.

Oh, and Mr Tay was telling us that he reads our blogs. Which made me kinda feel like this -> o.O
I didn't realise he'd have free time to read blogs since he's the J1 year head. & i can't picture him reading the blogs either. Hmm...

Hi Mr Tay. If you happen to be reading this. =)

------------------------------------------------------------------------

On another note, Mum has flown to China today.

Almighty King,
Please protect her and the other ladies. Grant them favour with the people there, oh Lord.
May the bless the people of China and plant the seeds of salvation for the other non-believers.
Amen.

emo-ing

2007-07-05T21:07:00.000+08:00

It's one of those period of time,

where I'm feeling lonely and wonder

if everybody do see me as a friend,

or if they secretly hate me because i'm

a total b- totally dislikeable.

It's one of those period of time,

where it's useless to hear compliments

and words of comfort.

Because it'll just make me more paranoid.

(yes, i do happen to know i'm being paranoid[i hope],

but i can't really control FEELINGS now can i?)

Oh Lord, please bind this feeling of lonliness.

I should be thankful that i have You always.

Forgive me for feeling lonely,

though I know Your always by my side.

gotta

Stop emo-ing.

On another note, this week has been pretty crappy.

It's not good coming back to JC,

you get hit by a load of work to do.

Deadlines to meet. [Proj. Work is bleh]

New concepts and stuff thrown and you to know by

promos- which by the way is less than 3 months away.

Plus, just got back the papers for my worst subjects-

Math and Chi-

FAIL[ed].

BADLY.

haish

It's only gonna get busier.

bad day

2007-06-29T18:41:00.000+08:00

Oh man, today was crap.

Math sucked.
I finished a half hour early because I left blanks.
But, thank God for Steph,
who explained some stuff to me before assembly.
Otherwise, I think I would've finished an hour early instead.
So, thanks Steph! =D

Then later, had Econs lecture,
where the H2 Econs cohort kena scolding for about 20mins.
I mean, I know that sometimes we deserve to get scolding,
but, if we're already pressed for time,
skip the scolding and don't bother please.
Worse still, we had a boring teacher. Urrghh~
Can die listening to him man.
I decided to read the notes at my own pace, while he was teaching,
since I just got the lecture book this morning.
He's SO slow. I covered slightly more than half of what he meant to cover today.
In the end, he gave up lecturing because people lost their attention span
& he stopped earlier than what I covered
& he stopped earlier than the time he was s'posed to end.
sheesh -.-

A level Chi oral started at 2pm.
I was able to have a half hour nap! From 2.30 - 3pm.
then it was my turn~
dun dun duunnn
It was CRAP.
I kept thinking forever to think, so the teacher kept prompting me =S
I think I might fail~! O.O
The teachers were quite rude too.
One was staring all over the place, and the other was leaning on her arm.
I know they'll be quite sian since i'm like, somewhere in the middle of the queue.
But they didn't have to show it! Made me more nervous only >_<
Haiish. Hopefully, I'll pass. Though I fear that I might fail =(

Oh well, I shall enjoy my weekend now!
Haha. In a way, it's a good thing oral was today.
Now i can enjoy my 3 dao weekend in peace =)
Toodles~!

Sorry

2007-06-25T22:16:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry that I've been such an irritant lately,
I really didn't mean it.
I'm really really sorry - can you forgive me?

I hear you

2007-06-25T19:38:00.000+08:00

I hear you

I made the earth and sky
I make the eagles fly
My arm is not too short to save you
How easily you fret
How quickly you forget
all the promises i made
I see the sparrow fall
I'm mindful of it all

you cry help me and I hear you
you cry help me and I'll rescue
you know i know your need before you call
when you need me I will provide
when you need me I'm by your side
you know I'm never gonna let you fall
when you cry help me, and I hear you

you've tried it on your own
you've tried to walk alone
(but) I've always been right there beside you
you've turned to me for help
you know there's no one else
I am the one who will revive you
cast all your cares on Me
trust and believe

---------------------------------------------------------------
so sick of viewing houses.
told mum and dad they can decide whatever already
since i plan to stay in a hostel in uni
which will be after next year, i hope
i wonder which is the house God has provided for us?

Oh Lord, I know you can hear me
but can you help me to hear your voice?

CAPS

2007-06-22T21:42:00.001+08:00

I FEEL SO PROUD OF MYSELF. HAHA.
COS I COMPLETED THE SCRIPT FOR YOUTH SERVICE
& READ THROUGH LIT NOTES.
I'M PRODED~! XD

BUT BUT BUT

DON'T THINK I'LL REMEMBER ANYTHING~
DIE DIE DIE!

HAHA.

IF YOU'RE WONDERING WHY I'M TYPING IN CAPS.
It'S...

FOR ME TO KNOW & YOU TO FIND OUT!!!
IF YOU CAN BE BOTHERED. HAAAHH~~~

WHEE~WHEE~WHEE~
WHEE~WHEE~WHEE~
WHEE~WHEE~WHEE~
(bounces away)

bored =)

2007-06-22T11:45:00.000+08:00

bored.
bored.
bored.
bored.
bored.

someone save me pls~!

i want to go house hunting.
at least can see pretty houses =)
well, some anyway.
and hopefully,
we won't encounter another demanding seller.
pssh! just cos the prices are going up in some places,
everybody elsewhere wants to push for a higher selling price.
bleah.
we were so close to getting a place.
reminds me of econs though.
haaah.
which i like =)

maybe i should hit the books again.
so sick of studying though,
not that i did a lot of it. =S

stupid jc system!!

i need a real mugger friend,
anybody wanna volunteer?

misunderstandings

2007-06-21T21:24:00.000+08:00

I remember a period of time when Ariel and I weren't talking to each other because we each thought the other was angry at us. Of course, we finally realised how wrong we were and we laugh over it sometimes. It was the rare moment in our friendship that we had this kinda thing. (actually, i don't remember any other moments of such) It was then that I realised how a simple assumption or misunderstanding, plus the fear of confrontation can spoil a friendship just like that.

I never wanted to go through that again, good friends are hard to come by after all.

Little did I expect something similar to happen again this month. It's quite funny really, when I found out the truth yesterday. One month of not talking.. sheesh. So silly! Oh wells. Thankfully, this is a rare thing for me. =)

--------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah Jia En, it was very fun! XD

Bond007

2007-06-19T20:15:00.000+08:00

I know I haven't blogged in a LONG time - according to En. Ahha. That's why I'm back to try and revive it... again. So that En will stop saying that I forever have brain block! Cos i don't lor!

Poiema camp Bond 007 was fun! Overall a really good time of getting to know each other better and basically BONDING. There were 3 teams: Private Investigators (P.I) [ My team!=D ] Maskara, and Messiah12 (love their flag btw, i thought it was cool)

One of the highlight of the camp was fun night! I enjoyed watching the skit of all 3 groups (I could do that cause I was the Narrator for my group! heh heh...) They were all fun and funny in their own lame ways. Still, my team won! YAY P.I! I think cause ours was the most nonsense skit out of all of them! Ahaha. Some adults joined us for the fun night, they were a fun bunch to be with alright. Quite funny to watch them participate in the game "sound effects" taken from "whose line is it anyway?"

Another highlight was the overnight game, though the camp comm underestimated us for the clues thingo. So we ended earlier than expected. So they planned for quite awhile, then they decided to hide our treasure boxes. In the end, only my group found ours and did the maze, but the rest were too tired so they cancelled the maze thing. Oh well...

The camp felt too short though, I must say that this year's camp was one of the better ones. The young adults were given a chance to join us, as well as others who don't go for Poiema. Yup, good job camp comm! =)

See JiaEn, i don't always get brain block! Haha.
Toodles~

today

2007-05-15T20:53:00.000+08:00

This morning's weather was terrible, in the bus on the way to school, it poured very heavily. Actually, the fact that there was a downpour didn't hit me until I was going to get off the bus and the door opened. I was having a nice nap on the bus itself. Heh. Thank God that Lionel was on the bus as well, and he brought an umbrella! We were still really wet, but at least we weren't drenched. Quite a horrible morning, a lot of people were trapped at the bus stop and late.

Nevertheless, it was an okay day after that. Econs lecture is going to be sped up! I'm quite happy about that. Haha. Don't quite like the slowish pace of the lectures in srjc. Though I s'pose it's to help the those who need awhile to process information. During History, Mr Tay returned the essay test 2, and I got D again. =( The Econs DRQ test result was that great either (10.5/20) It's really quite depressing to see such results, especially after getting 12 pts for O levels. Haiis. Just gotta remember that I'm doing A level curriculum now, THINGS HAVE CHANGED. Though sometimes I still wish I was in poly. =S At least I've finally adapted to JC lifestyle, somewhat. I'm still so proud of myself for that! Heh.

But but but! It's really hard to motivate myself in SRJC, I can feel myself slipping into laziness, as if I were in the early days of secondary school. It's really tough, but I'm relying on God's strength, and that is what sustains me. God has really done so many things for little ol' me, I really don't know how to express my gratefulness to Him in words. I can only try my best not to disappoint Him.

Oh well, I better be going, will be learning Korean dance tomorrow for SRJC ARts Fest =S The school randomly put me in that course. Haiis. I don't really mind learning the Korean dance part, the medium of speech is CHINESE. As if my chinese isn't bad enough already, now i have to learn Korean dance in chinese?? Meh. Nevertheless, I shall have that learning spirit. Hopefully, the chinese words spoken wouldn't be too difficult to understand.

Off I go then.
Toodles and G'night~!

thought for the day

2007-05-08T21:31:00.000+08:00

I really have no mood to blog, but i feel like i should update this blog so...

I LOVE LEE JIA EN <3

Haha, inspiration from chatting with her. Ennie, you like? Heh.

OH yeah, I got a Gold for napha (or however it's spelled) for the first time! Hahhaa! So happy. Quite a sad thing getting gold only now, but.. this is really the first time i tried really hard, thanks to Ms Rivera.

I also realised that everyday has become so routine... From Monday to Friday I would

wake up.
go to school.
come home.
eat.
shower.
work cum slack.
quiet time. (well, I try)
sleep.

Yet, everyday isn't really the same. God seems to be able to make every a new day with new happenings despite the routine. Hm. Thank You Lord, for making everyday a new day, so that my life will not be so dull. =) Only you can bring life to the mundane.

That reminds me of the verse that Partner wrote in the birthday card to me:
"this is the day which the Lord has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it"-Ps118:24
(By the way, thanks Partner for the gifts! Get well soon~)

Yup... I guess that's the thought for the day. Oh and En, see, after typing how I love you, really got stuff to write after that! Haha! X)

OH well,
Toodles and G'night~

Whew

2007-05-03T18:28:00.000+08:00

Yes! I can finally blog~! Hahah. I've been meaning to do so, but somehow... I just couldn't. Oh well, doesn't matter, I'm here to blog now! =D School's getting better and better, though it's still tiring... I think I'm slowly getting used to it. Pretty soon, I'll be telling the younger youths JC ish no problem de! I hope.. Heh.

I had fun on Sunday teaching the kiddos Psalms 1:1-3 with actions and a song. The kiddos are so sweet! Love, love, loooveee 'em to bits! Children are such a wonderful creation of God x) After church and youth, I watched the 200 pound beauty with 'em youthies at tm. I love the movie, funny and sad at the same time, though as Jia en mentioned, a bit cliche. That's alright for me though. Ahha. Got a chance to see the ns boys with their shaved heads together. They can pass off as brothers I think. haha! Oh yeah, there was some sort of exhibition showcasing all the Army stuff. Us girls got dragged into taking part in some quiz thing to redeem some bag thing. Ahha. I suggested we do to while the time away since we had about an hour before the movie started. Then we saw some performance by the soldiers! Well, not really, they were specially chosen to form the drama group. Some of the guys were really pale, paler than An Ee even. oO.

Tuesday was labour day! Yay! Haha. It was really LABOUR day man. I had to go back to srjc for band, then headed to Steph's place for GPP, which my group spent 4 hours on! oO. Thank goodness Ms Koh was quite happy with it when she returned it to us today. Though after all the hard work, I went out with family to celebrate my birthday! We had CHLLI CRAB. Mmmmmm........ Shiok ah~! Had crazing for chilli crab ever since I ate some at Ennie's place. So I satisfied my cravings on Tues =D

Did the 5 stations on Wed, I think I'm slightly fitter than before. It's also the first time I bothered to try so hard for pft, or napha, or whatever it's called. Hopefully, I'll get my silver. Hah. OH well, it's late, and I have to study a bit more for hist.

Toodles and G'night~! X)

PS. Once again, thanks to all those who wished me happy birthday~!

Phantom of the Opera

2007-04-21T15:55:00.000+08:00

Woot~! I finally watched Phantom of the Opera last night at the esplanade with Uncle Jeff and Sis! The effects are awesome, especially the scene at the underground tunnel where the Phantom brought Christine to his 'lair' in a boat - it really looked like water! There were a few freaky stuff though, like the manniquin which he dressed up as a bride to represent Christine. When he revealed the doll to her, it's torso suddenly dropped forward! Then can see the head following the movement of the phantom and Christine. Eeeeeeee~ The scene where the Phantom hung the props guy was also scary 'cos the body suddenly fell from the top with the rope attached to it, and the crew started screaming and running all over the place. Eeeeeeee~

The Phantom was like some sort of magician man! He kept disappearing in front of the crowd, and appearing at different places. It was so cool! For example, at the last scene, where the police were heading for his lair, he sat on his 'throne' and covered himself with a black cloth to hide. Then when this dancer removed the cloth, he wasn't there!!! Well, ok, so he didn't appear again after that since it was the end of the show, but you get the idea. Don't you?

The singing on the other hand, was not so good. I could barely make out the lyrics. Then there was this diva opera singer in the story who really sang opera. Ack. She basically drowned out the other singers voices when she sang with them. I was expecting the glass to break soon enough. =S

Overall, it was a great show. I throughly enjoyed myself. I felt so sympathetic for the Phantom, who felt that he was a freak of nature. Then when he told Christine to go and be with her fianc'e, waahh.. so heartbreaking man. Ahha.

Oh well, I shall stop going on and on about it. Toodles~

hm

2007-04-19T20:12:00.000+08:00

Meh, I know I haven't been blogging, but during the past few attempts, I got blogger's block. Nevertheless, I AM DETERMINED TO BLOG, AND SO I SHALL!!!! WAHAHAHAHAH!

Ahem. Right.

Well, as you can see, I've changed the blog skin. Thought I should add a bit more colour to my blog. Ahha. Had a hard time searching for a nice skin man... Then the little marshmellow cartoon caught my eye! So tadah! =))

There isn't very much else that I want to say... I'm still settling down in school, but things are slightly better now. I'm getting used to the school work and can pay attention to lectures and tutorials more or less. Compared to the first three months, it's a real inprovment ok! Heh.

Oh, on another note: thank God for giving me good friends in srjc! =D
Can't really think of much else to say. Guess I'll be off then. Night =)

Easter Sunday

2007-04-08T21:45:00.000+08:00

Woots~ It's easter sunday! When Christ is risen from the dead! Happy happy day indeed =D
I danced for worship today, the first half of it anyway, and felt so alive up there praising God through the dance. I was kinda nervous though, since it was my first time doing something like that. Whoo~ scary stuff. Guess I'll join the creative expressions team after all.. Though it would mean sacrificing a few sunday afternoons teaching the kiddos and all that. It's been so long since I've danced... now my arms are aching =S It's alright though, it's worth it when dancing for the Lord =)

Abel and Aunty May came to testify today. It's really amazing to see what God can do in people's lives. How he can transform them totally, how he can touch their hearts. Abel was 22 years old when he got beaten up by a caucasian and dumped in a longkang. He ended up in a comatose state for about 2 years i think. The doctors declared him a vegetable. Imagine his horror when he wakes up to find himself bald, toothless, and unable to walk... the last thing he remembered is getting beaten up. =S Oh, and finding out that his parents abandoned him. Thank God for leading Aunty May to church though. Otherwise I don't think they would have managed. God is pretty awesome indeed...

There were games for youth after service. It was pretty crazy, some of the games, like tying us up together and making us race each other. Or sticking as many balloons as possible to Meng Hwee then having him run two rounds around the hall to see how many balloons can stick to him. Hahaha! He looked quite a sight. XD

Well, I'm kinda pooped. Ariel's back from Thailand till Thurs~! She stayed over for the weekend, though i wasn't really around that much to hang out with her. =S Sorry about that Ari. We watched "Freedom Writers" last night, and man, that movie is really good~! Actually, been watching movies the past week. It's as if all the good movies are coming out all at once. So far, I've watched: the number 23, meet the robinsons, and freedom writers. I still wanna watch stomp the yard and tmnt. Gaaah~! Why oh why must all the good movies be out together??? Then later, I'm sure there'll be a period of having nothing nice to watch. =( Haiis... shall not watch anymore movies for awhile. I shouldn't be spending too much money...

Oh well, off I go. Gotta study for Hist. while i can. Since my weekend was filled with fun... ahha. Slacked for the past week too, so it's back to working hard. Sarah jia you~!
Heh.

Toodles~ =)

Jc life

2007-04-05T19:26:00.000+08:00

Well, I'm still getting used to JC life. Still, I thank God for my class- much love to 1A01!!! =D -and placing me in Srjc. Though sometimes I do wonder if I should have appealed to another Jc or switched around my choices... or maybe even go to poly. Nevertheless, I shall press on. Not like I have much of a choice. =S

Long hours and all that has made me quite tired. Haha. Even during lectures and tutorials, sometimes the temptation to sleep is so great, or I end up stoning a few minutes here and there. Now I understand why a jc student value sweets so much. The teachers are generally quite understanding though, i think.

It's already Good friday tomorrow! Time passes quite fast man. I hope it'll pass by faster, then I can get promos over and done with. Then A levels can be over and done with as well! Haha. S'pose I shouldn't be too impatient to grow up and go to uni, better enjoy jc while I can. After all, I was wishing to get into Jc when i was in secondary school, and now, I really miss KC. Sobs...

Speaking of Good friday, it's time to quieten down and give thanks for what Christ has done for us. The sacrifice that he made... dying on the cross for us- a demonstration of his amazing love, and his neverending mercy.

Amazing love

I'm forgiven
because You were forsaken
I'm accepted
You were condemned
I'm alive and well
Your spirit is within me
because You died and rose again

Amazing love
how can it be
that You my king
would die for me
Amazing love
I know it's true
and it's my joy to honour You
In all I do
I honour You

You are my King
Jesus, You are my King

Sian

2007-03-12T11:58:00.000+08:00

Sian.
That's how I'm feeling at the moment. Don't think it'll last long though, since I'll be going out later with Jean and company, cos it's Jean's birthday! HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEAN. Ahaha. Eli, Fio and I wanted to do a surprise for her, but it's too complicated, so we settled for taking her out and surprising her with a cake instead. OH well, we shall see how it goes.

Yesterday was quite fun at Cheryl's house, a small group of us decided to to go there after youth. At first we didn't quite know what to do. Then the boys started playing with Gab's various toy weapons! Haha. Mostly guns though, i think. Then Cheryl and Rachel joined in the fun while I watched. It was real maddness in Cheryl's room then. Hah.

When it was going to be dinner time, all that was found in the fridge were fries, prata and Ramly patties. Cheryl wanted to prepare the dinner, but in the end, Jason and Wei lun came in and eventually took over. Gab, Dan, and James went to get bread. Then people started swapping around to cook and soon, dinner was done! By then I think the kitchen was quite a mess. Haha.

Everyone left by about 9pm, and so the fun ended. Cheryl, sis and I will be going for Reuben's school play on Friday, titled "Black comedy", should be awesome. Ahha. That's all for now, toodles!

2nd O

2007-03-07T21:24:00.000+08:00

Well, it's official, I'm an SRJCian for the next two years of my life. I don't think it's that bad though, 'cause now I'm scared for my A level results. So all I want to do is.. STUDY! Haha. Alright, not really, but I do have a stronger motivation to study for fear of lousy A level results. SRJC has 1000 J1 students now though, but quite a number are appealing to go to other JCs. The principal seems quite happy though, according to him, about 50% are 16 pters and below. So he thinks we'll be the first batch to bring up SRJC's standard! We shall wait and see...

2nd O is quite sian though, there are 37 peeps in my OG alone. =S It's quite hard to get to know everybody. Oh yeah, Charmaine and I are in the same OG!!! Ahaha. Such a coincidence man... There are 6 KC girls in my OG alone i think. It's not such a good thing though, we tend to form a clique.. Hm.. We're not doing too badly though, can still mingle. Ahha. Unfortunately, I'm no longer in Argo, I'm in Bismarck! (in 1st O they were rivals) I miss Argo already, but oh well, it's just orientation. My loyalty still lies with Argo though. Heh.

I can't wait for 2nd O to be over and for classes to start. I've decided to take H2 Lit, Econs, Hist and H1 Math. Char and I might end up in the same CG! Haha. Then we'll be seeing each other nearly everyday... =S Don't know if that's a good or a bad thing. =P Speaking of CGs, I miss 1A05 too. We're such a unique CG... With one of the most ponners ever. So united for the wrong things man.. And it's only after the first 3 months thing is over, that we start to go on outings. Haha! Special or what? XD

Oh well, shan't think of first 3 months anymore, must focus now! Gotta study hard for As, just when Os are over. Huh.. Nevertheless, I must jia you! YEAH!

Thank You Lord for placing me in SRJC!!

pride

2007-02-26T20:06:00.000+08:00

I hate my pride. So why do I tend to cling on to it?

Help me to be humble, Lord. Don't let my pride take over my actions again. Forgive me for all the times I refused to let it go.
In Jesus' name, Amen.

Chinese New year

2007-02-18T17:46:00.000+08:00

Gong xi fa cai, fa tian cai~! I can't believe it's already Chinese New Year, I don't feel any excitement though. I remember Chinese New Year being an event I looked forward to. It was always fun because it's 3 days of public holiday, and you get to eat tons of good food, not to mention the red packets that will be given and the money that's put into the bank later on. Then there's all the colourful decor and lights that will be put up along the roads...

Can't really feel that excitement anymore though. Maybe it's because I'm no longer as interested in the pretty colours and collection of red packets. Of course, money is nice to have, but I lost the thrill of collecting them from relatives I see only once a year. Haiis..

Oh well, went to church today. A chinese pastor came to preach on how we as Christians can celebrate Chinese New Year. There were a few good points that is stuck in my head. He even shared how we can reach out to our relatives without seeming religious and all that.

I am seriously unlucky to have my period come today man. During the sermon I had bad cramps and it got worse after service. I skipped lunch and napped at home so I won't feel the pain. Ugh... It's not so bad now, but it's not gone either. =S Haiiis.

I shall be off now. Dad's opening the house to Poiemians from 10.30am onwards. I think we'll figure out some place to meet and bring the lot of you over. Please bring movies and games. Otherwise, it'll be quite boring. Haha. See you guys on Tuesday then =) Toodles.

O lvl results

2007-02-11T18:36:00.000+08:00

I got my O level results on Friday! AND I GOT 12PTS. WOOOOTT!!! Thank You Lord for the result!! Char and I went with Gissy and Rochelle and Hung to eat oyster omlette, then we met up with Cheryl and Jiaen to go to the beach and SCRREEAAAAMMM!!!!! AHAHAHAA!!!! WHEE~!

We also attempted to make silent clips, but it wasn't much of a sucess... =S Oh well, we can always try it another time. Heh. If you want, go to Jiaen's blog to check it out because I'm too lazy to even link to it from here.

I went to school at about 10+ am to wait for the release of the results. Though that wasn't as crazy as my friends who went to school for morning assembly and joined in for the morning exercise! I chatted with friends and a few teachers, and visited the good ol' art room again. Haha. Man, I really miss my secondary school! Oh my, could it be that I'm getting...

OLD?!?!

Nah..... hahahaa!

So I gave a short thanksgiving today at the end of service, only to find out that I was very soft, which was weird cos i was speaking into the mic! Hm... Oh well, now I got to think about which JC to go to next. My mind is pretty much set on MJC, but I still got to wait for God's response. Right then, it's dinner time! Off I go.. toodles!

Happenings

2007-02-05T20:08:00.000+08:00

Whoop! I'm in a happy mood right now because i just had STINGRAY! Thanks to my dear nai nai who cooked it. Wahahahaha. There are a few things coming up or has already come up, so i thought i ought to share them =)

Firstly, my dead toenail came out!!!! Finally, after waiting for about 2 months, it's out! My toe looks kinda weird though, since the new nail has only grown halfway =S I daren't wear shoes anymore, until the new nail has grown back at least. So I'll be wearing slippers to school! It feels a bit weird, but i don't quite mind it since SLIPPERS ARE BETTER THAN SHOES!

Secondly, it's JiaEn's birthday this week! Woots~ Congrats girl! You're another year older and wiser! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

Thirdly, I'm going to get a new bike! Actually, our family is going to get a new bike... It'll be shared. I think it's better this way, since I'm the only one who's really interested in cycling. Ben is interested in cycling too, so Dad is going to repair Ben's bike since it's fairly new. Now all we need to do is remove the bike chain...

Dad found a way to lose weight and travel to work, it's not going to happen though. The conversation went something like this:-

Dad: ... then when we have a bike to use, i can cycle to church...!
Me: and get fit!
Dad: yeah, precisely. Unfortunately there are no shower facilities in the church.
Me: How about the ones in the new extension building?
Dad: Those aren't really shower facilities you know.. when you shower in there, you flood the whole floor then the toilet cannot use..
Me: then what about the school?
Dad: yes, the school should have, but by the time i reach there, there'll be students. Not very nice la...
Me: oh.

So close, yet so far. I wonder how else my dad will lose weight.

Fourthly, O level results are coming out this Friday!!! AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!! I'm a mix of nervousness and excitement. Don't think I'll be able to focus in school this whole week, I still need the distraction though, so I shan't pon. Heh. Then Mon to Thurs no school! Apparently, we need that many days off to do the JAE exercise. Huh... Oh well, I don't argue against free holidays.

This month is such a happening month, after all that, there'll be Chinese new year and my piano exam. Oh oh oh! Daddy's birthday is next week as well! AAAAHH! I just realised it man... Oh well, off to plan a mini surprise for him! Sssssshhh....

That's about it for now... toodles!

hn

2007-01-28T19:39:00.000+08:00

I lead BS today! It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, though the cell group was a real help keeping absolutely silent when I asked questions. Hmph. Anyway, I really thank God for seeing me through this, especially since I had to teach the Agape kiddies as well. Actually, I was s'posed to share devotion this week during Poiema too! But it was forgotten!! HAHAHA.

Ahem. Right, moving on.

Life in SRJC has been alright, although it's sort of becoming more sian. I'm not sure if I want to continue JC life after the first 3 months. I just don't see the point in studying so much just to take one measly paperto get one lousy certificate, just to get into a university to study the course I'll pick. The huge amount of stuff is going to be thrown away anyway. I should know, I've been doing it for the past 10 years. So yeah, feeling a bit lost at the moment... I'm kinda confused as to what's next for me... I'm still feeling a strong urge to do social work though, but then the best route would through JC and then Uni. Nevertheless, shall pray about it..

Apart from that, there's not much else that I want to say.. just thought I'd give an update on what's going on. Heh... Oh well, toodles then..

Dreams

2007-01-21T21:43:00.000+08:00

Dreams.
I heard tons of things about them. That the reason they happen is because our mind is still active when we sleep. So they can be a recollective memory of what has happened, either recently or awhile ago, or they can be a representative of our subconciousness, emotions, what we like, dislike etc. God uses dreams to speak to us, or give us a prophesy or warning.

One could say that dreams could thus mean something.
But then, a dream can be just that- a dream. It doesn't really have to mean anything. After all, dreams also can be utter nonsense and make no sense whatsoever.

So I should just forget it...

Right?

first day of new timetable

2007-01-15T21:01:00.000+08:00

First day of the new timetable.
My class has a load of seemingly quiet people.
note: the word is "seemingly".
It made me kinda miss argo one though..
where bonds have been built.
now it's back to re-introducing ourselves
and getting acquainted.
oh well, shall see how it goes.
the teachers aren't bad though.
my gp teacher reminds me of pst soh
he keeps his eyes closed when talking!
just not as often as pst soh does it
heh

I really don't like my timetable.
shall have to live with it. =(
hopefully, these few weeks will pass by quickly
so that i can finally get my results.
i'm getting impatient!

oh, join rockclimbing today
to check it out.
it's just as tough as bball.
now i'm at a loss,
since i really really really want to do bball
despite having no experience.
but i kinda like rockclimbing too.
argh. i hate making decisions.
i'm too indecisive for this sort of things!!
maybe i'll end up flipping a coin.
HAH

oh well, brain's tired. that's why the entry's
like this.
gonna be a busy few weeks...
toodles.

Lend me Your strength O Lord
Sustain me in Your love
As I rest within Your arms
and trust in You

Did God create evil?

2007-01-10T18:34:00.000+08:00

Did God create evil?

Did God create everything that exists? Does evil exist? Did God create
evil? A University professor at a well known institution of higher learning challenged his students with this question. "Did God create everything that exists?"
A student bravely replied, "Yes he did!" "God created everything?" The professor asked.
"Yes sir, he certainly did," the student replied. The professor answered, "If God created everything; then God created evil. And, since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are, then we can assume God is evil."
The student became quiet and did not respond to the professor's
hypothetical definition. The professor, quite pleased with himself, boasted to the students
that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.
Another student raised his hand and said, "May I ask you a question, professor?"
"Of course", replied the professor.
The student stood up and asked, "Professor, does cold exist?"
"What kind of question is this? Of course it exists. Have you never
been cold?" The other students snickered at the young man's question. The young
man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist. According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Everybody or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (-460 F) is the total absence of heat; and all matter becomes inert and
incapable of reaction at that temperature. Cold does not exist. We have created
this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat."
The student continued, "Professor, does darkness exist?"
The professor responded, "Of course it does."
The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir, darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact, we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each
color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn't this correct? Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present."
Finally the young man asked the professor, "Sir, does evil exist?"
Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course, as I have already said. We see it everyday. It is in the daily examples of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil.
To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist, sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man
does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat, or the darkness that comes when there is no light."
The professor sat down.
The young man's name -- Albert Einstein

taken from a 2007 newsletter written by Maurice Sweetsur

poiema vid

2007-01-09T22:42:00.000+08:00

Yay! the Poiema video is out! I'd place it on the blog itself, but i'm too lazy to do so. =P So i've given the link instead, which can be found at the side of the blog, or if you would place the arrow over the words "poiema video" up there.

It's basically a collection of photos that have been taken the past year. The photos are of darling Poiemians! (youth group in my church for those of you who don't know) I really like the song that was chosen for this little clip. =) Many thanks to Deqi and Daph for putting it together!

last day of orientation

2007-01-05T22:24:00.000+08:00

I'm back back back!
srjc orientation 2007 rocked my socks! =D
Still quite high from today, with all the fun and games.. and cheering!
We cheered so often that the cheers are stuck in my head...
I don't know whether to cheer, laugh or cry.
Heh.
So glad to be part of Argo [I], it's a cool bunch to be with... =)))
Oh oh oh , and and... Argo won 1st place!!! Woot!
However... it is to be expected! Wahaha.
I shan't say more, otherwise I might end up sounding more egoistic than I already can be.
HAH XD
The college dance turned out to be quite fun, although a bit confusing.
Took awhile to get used to it.
It was one of the things that gave me a few laughs.

Next week, we'll be going for all the different lectures.
I'm quite excited, since I've been waiting to experience jc life
in my lower secondary years.
Though the enthusiasm may die out after awhile.
HAH.

Oh well, my brain's kinda in a jam.
Thoughts jumping all over the place.
That's why the entry is like this.
Right, time to start adding people.
Toodles!

(ARGO BOLEH!)

1st day in SRJC

2007-01-03T19:59:00.000+08:00

HOO SHA!
Today has been a 'faan-tabby-tabulous' day indeed. =D There are a few things to thank God for actually..

I thank God for SRJC- It's an environment I'm comfortable with, reminds me of KC a bit actually...

I thank God for putting me in the same group with 2 of my 404 classmates (although we sat at opposite ends of the classroom last year) He probably knew how much i needed that, and He did it with out me asking Him to do so!

I thank God for those who encouraged me as i [was about to] enter SRJC. You guys have been a great help in getting rid of the apprehensiveness.
Last but not least, I thank God for

A
Really
Good
Orientation [group]

[edit 040107: can't believe i forgot.. i also thank God for Josh, who actually gave me the right directions!! guess he ain't that blur after all. thanks buddy!]

Nuhahahaha! Mucho fun-o with them-o! XD I can't wait for the next 2days to take place. Waha. Oh well, that's about all i have to say. My brain feels like it's about to implode, what a killer headache. Weird thing is, i see a hyper-ish mini me bouncing around inside my head on that big ball thingo you sit on to bounce with. Which explains this HYPEERR-ish entry!! XD Oh well, off i go then. Toodles!

(bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce.....)

1st Jan 2007

2007-01-01T17:17:00.000+08:00

Well, it's the start of a whole new year, a whole new school, and new friends. Yet, it feels like any other day. I still can't get over the fact that it's 2007! Definitely many things to thank God for, and many things to reflect upon, as well as anticipate what's ahead. =)

I bid the last day of the new year goodbye by going for the watchnight service at night, and sleeping over after that with darling Poiemians. Before the service though, we hung out at Josh's place. I watched "Appleseed", an anime movie, for the first time. It's pretty cool! I like the plot and the twists here and there. Don't know if I would've expected the twists since Josh did give a few spoilers. Then the boys decided to play xbox, which meant...

"Zing-Za"!!! XD

Oh well, they had their fun. I prefered this "need for speed" game, that I tried out. Some time over there, I joined forces with Cheryl for a game of bridge with sis, Anee, and Weilun. Well, I mainly held the cards for her, and arranged them. Ahha. Cheryl and I were getting quite frustrated with the bidding part of the game, since Anee and Rach kept trying to outbid each other. Cheryl was telling me, "Kill me now! Just kill me now!" Wahahahaha!

Oh well, quite tired. Maybe I'll take a quick nap. Before I go off though, don't know how many of you noticed the blip.tv clips at the side. Those are clips taken from my phone (except for budget air hockey, thanks Anee for filming that!) of a few crazy or lame things that has been done. Hopefully, I'll be able to take more and post them up. Ahaha. That's about it for now. Toodles!

Dear God,
I pray You will pave the way for me this year.
I submit the changes that I will go through to You;
So that they will mold me to become more of what You desire me to be.
In Jesus' name,
Amen

found my charger!

2006-12-29T23:47:00.000+08:00

I found my mobile charger! Woot. I felt so deprived when I was mobile-less because I was charger-less.(for about a day and a night?) I guess it's due to the dependency I have on my phone, though I didn't realise it till I couldn't use it. To think I used to scoff at those in similar plights.

When I was searching for my mobile though, I was comparing my dependency on God and my dependency on my mobile. Would I be as frantic as I was if I discovered my relationship with God was cut off? Would I search desprately for Him more than when I searched for my charger to use my phone?

Honestly? I don't know.

I mean, just think, what if one day it would seem as if God has disappeared. Or maybe you've already experienced it. Would you start to panic and search frantically for Him? Would you try hard to reach Him? Or did you question why He left, or accuse Him of abandoning you when it could be due to our carelessness (in behavior, ignoring God, etc.)?

Maybe God is trying to tell me something through this small incident...

Hm.

Well, on a lighter note, a group of us went to clear and clean the counselling centre(cc)! We took nearly the whole day. Though it was kind of a "finally, the place will be clean" thing. Haah. Threw away lots of junk, and gave away lots that we didn't want, and reorganised what was left in the cc. Then went to Cheryl's place to chill and have dinner, cooked by Cheryl herself! Rach was right, her speghetti rocks. =D

That's about all I have to say for today. Decided to blog since it's been awhile. Guess I'll end off with a prayer.

Heavenly Father,
Thank You for watching over me and guiding me through this year.
I pray that You will continue to be with me in the new year.
May our relationship build, draw me close to You.
In Jesus' name,
Amen.

Jc posting results

2006-12-14T21:11:00.000+08:00

I got into SRJC. Oh well, so be it. I don't mind that school, it was my 4th choice. Just that i don't have the 2 loyalty points when selecting my jc after the O level results. Unless i decide to go back to srjc, which is quite unlikely.

One thing about srjc though, is distance. It's really far, i think. I'll probably have to get up earlier than usual in the morning. Hoo boy... wonder if i'll be able to survive.

Nevertheless, I thank God for where he has placed me. I guess i have to trust him, i don't have much of a choice.

revamped

2006-12-12T21:22:00.000+08:00

Back from camp! An amazing 4 days at Serimbun Campsite with sjsm peeps. I already miss the camp, and my group self-control... who won the most 'garang' award, quite ironic actually.. haha. Shows how much self-control we really had. XD

The camp really changed all of us who went, i think. It taught us a few things, and held up a mirror to us, showing us what needs changing, what needs improving. Thanks to Pst Joshua and Pst Gary who lead the sessions.

Most of the people there were friendly as well, though it did start out with a slightly awkward atmosphere, but that is to be expected. Almost immediately after the icebreaker, the bridge between us and sjsm was crossed. It really showed me how we are all part of God's family, because we all gel together. It's like meeting your relatives during chinese new year or some other occasion, where after all the greetings and such, you all click and start talking, sharing, playing. If you don't quite get the comparison... well, nevermind.

The games were crazy, such as wading in the mudpool (which I didn't do because of my toe) and rolling in soy sauce + raw egg + ketchap + flour, and carrying each other through some weblike thing... Not very original, but fun all the same. I looked forward more forthe sessions than the games.

That's about all I have to say for the camp. There might be a sharing session this sunday though.

----------------------

Today, I helped Mum sort out the photos. We all had a good time remembering and laughing. We all looked hilarified! Wahaha. May bring the pics of church people on sunday. I don't know. I'm just thinking about it.

Before that, sunned matresses at church and helped out at the 3rd floor. Then went swimming. I couldn't swim for very long though, because my toe started to hurt for some strange reason. =( Still had fun though, playing with Ben on the slide. Ahahaha. Oh well, shall be off. Toodles!

Ben

2006-12-04T21:36:00.000+08:00

Sunned mattresses today. Apparently, some students from AHS took about half of them for their camp, so they've offered to sun the mattresses they took, cutting down our workload. Waha.

It's been such a long time since I've spent time with Ben, I almost forgot how much energy he has. He's just this little ball of [over]hyperness. I wonder if I was like that as a kid. It's quite amusing and scary to see him run all over the place. The question "Doesn't he ever get tired?"comes to mind.

I never realised how much I missed spending time with him until today. This year, I hardly did anything with him, and I know sometimes he misses that too. I can tell when he tries to irritate me on purpose or just watches me do my own things. I remember getting annoyed and chasing him away now and then. So sorry Ben, for neglecting you...

Oh well, can't change the past, but will try to spend more time with him in the future. It's a must. Toodles..

pissed

2006-12-02T22:12:00.000+08:00

PISSED.
FINE, BE THAT WAY.
SELFISH ASSES.

grad lunch

2006-11-28T12:32:00.000+08:00

Well, I went for grad lunch yesterday. It was alright I s'pose, though the food was disappointing. It probably would have been more fun if i didn't have to wobble around because of my toe. As most of you would know, I hurt my toe on Sunday when I was playing monkey.

Word of advice: Don't play any game involving a basketball the day before an important event, like grad lunch.

I didn't actually realise that my toe was bleeding underneath the nail until I saw it. When the ball hit my toe, I started hopping because I felt slight pain. (well, slightly more than slight pain, but not what i'd call PAIN) Then I took a look at my toe, and went, "Oh Shit!" That was when I felt panic and soon after began to cry. Waha.

I don't think I really cried because it hurt. It was more of a realisation that my toe, in that state, should be feeling a lot of pain... and i hate pain. It was like crying in advance. I don't think the actual pain was that bad. (I already forgot what it felt like) I should have taken a photo of it. It would've made a good memoir sort of thing...

Back to grad lunch, I made 3 rounds to the buffet table, so I could try whatever I wanted. In the end, the food wasn't all that. Then later that night, the family went to Marche for dinner to celebrate Rachel's birthday. I've never eaten so much at Marche before, until last night that is. It's crazy! Especially since I've had a buffet lunch that afternoon. Oh well, food at Marche rocked as usual, and it's still as expensive. Ahha.

The usual gang I hang out with in class =)

Wenying finally willing to be captured on camera! Amazingggg. Yay for sa club!

Ms Tan (the one in the topmost photo) is my Bio and co-form teacher. She's funny in her own way, and has never shouted at the class- I don't know how she managed it.
Ms Chai (the one in the photo below) is my English teacher. Strict, but she makes English lessons interesting. A fabulous teacher.

alphabetssss

2006-11-22T22:27:00.000+08:00

Saw this on Crytal's blog, decided to do it for fun. I'm pretty bored anyway.

A- Damn good kisser.
B- Good all around person.
C- You're wild & crazy.
D- You have one of the best personalities ever.
E-You have a nice ass
F- People totally adore you.
G- You never let people tell you what to do.
H- You have a very good personality and looks.
I- You get hyper easily.
J- Everyone loves you.
K- You like to try new things.
L- You live to have fun.
M- Success comes easily to you.
N- You are absolutely beautiful.
O- You're an awesome person.
P- You are popular with all types of people.
Q- You are a hypocrite.
R- Sexy!
S- Easy to fall in love with.
T- You're loyal to those you love.
U- You really like to chill.
V- You are not judgmental.
W- You are very broad minded.
X- You never let people tell you what to do.
Y- One of the best bfs/gfs anyone could ask for.
Z- You're a little too hard to find.

So with my name I'm...
S- Easy to fall in love with. (hm, don't know about that)
A- Damn good kisser. (meh, i wouldn't know)
R- Sexy! (thank you!)
A- Damn good kisser. (ahha! so i'm doubly gd?)
H- You have a very good personality and looks.

K- You like to try new things. (not really, i don't quite like change)
I- You get hyper easily. (hohoho... yes, this is purty true)
M- Success comes easily to you. (utter rubbish)
B- Good all around person.
E-You have a nice ass. (waha! thank you =))
R- Sexy! (i'm doubly sexy too??)
L- You live to have fun. (utter rubbish)
Y- One of the best bfs/gfs anyone could ask for. (i wouldn't know)

Waha! A pretty odd result in my opinion. Nevertheless, i am terribly amused. XD

short and sweet

2006-11-22T19:36:00.000+08:00

I finally bought my dress. FINALLY. It isn't the one i originally wanted, but it still cost $103.95. I felt sad from departing with the money, even though it's my parents money. While walking around Orchard, I remembered why I don't shop unless it's necessary - it's a leg killer and it forces you to part with beloved cash. Whoo boy... And trying dress after dress... I felt like some sort of barbie doll.

Now all I need to do is pray that no one would end up in the same thing. I think that's a girl's worst nightmare, or maybe not. That's one reason to envy you guys out there. You don't have to spend so much time and money, all you need to wear is a suit, or something formal-ish. The only possible differences are size, price, and colour. Easy peasy, no?

When photos are taken during the grad lunch, I'll post them. Then y'all can take a look. Heh. That's about it for today, toodles.

thank you

2006-11-20T15:00:00.000+08:00

Well, I've got to make a choice now, on which jc i wanna go to for the first 2 months. (yeah, it's no longer 3 months) I'm s'posed to submit my choices by friday. Hm... Lord, may you show me which jc i should go to.

Oh gosh, I need to find more things to do during the holidays. Otherwise, it'll just become a bore. I remember going down to play and hanging out at Ariel's nearly everyday during school holidays. That was before I entered secondary school, now it's just kind of... bleh. Not always, but there are moments like that.

I'm starting to miss school already, feeling a little nostalgic... I miss my class, although I didn't like it, i didn't hate it either. I mostly miss the half who sat nearer to the windows, but not only them, of course, a few others as well. It was loads of fun sitting where i did, i'm glad God placed me there. I also miss those who crapped with me during Art this year. The paint fumes must have played a part in triggering the maddness that ensued pretty much every Art period.

Special thanks to:

Cassie - For encouraging me sometimes with your praises. Your bikering with Debbie have provided great entertainment now and then. =)) Sorry, but it's true. I still don't understand how you can love Orlando Bloom so much, but hey, the same goes to the rest of his fans.

Charlotte - The vice-chairperson for 404! Ahaha. The one who comes over to collect something or give something out... The way we say "hi" and "do you miss me?"... You've been a wonderful vice-chairperson, thank you.

Crystal - The blur queen who believes in people. You are still one naive girl, though that may not be such a bad thing. Thank you for intro-ing me to Tactics and Tsubasa...!

Daphne - You do great fashion design, and really know how to crap for art! Ahha. Since you want to be a tai tai so much, I guess I'll wish you all the best with that.

Debbie - My crapping partner! Wahahahaha. During Art and Math, it's always hilarious to have you around. Strange, how we can have rather opposite characters, but still click. Nevertheless, stay crazy yeah?

Maddie - Only prefect of our class. Ahha. You're cool to talk to and chill with during Art. I love your art pieces! Think you can sell the canvas you painted to me next year?

Melissa - you have good humour, and it's fun to tease wenying with you. Waha. All the best in pursuing Marine Biology!

Sukhpreet - You are always laughing or smiling! Haha. You really brighten my day, and man can you talk! On and on and on... It's been great having you around, especially during art! Ahaha. You and maddie trying to convince me something is wrong with the other. All in good fun of course =))

Vanessa Ong - Vice-president of the SA club! I think you can get into sajc la, since you're so smart. You also want to go overseas to study later on right? All the best with that! You and wy amuse me sometimes. Haha, really glad I got to know you.

Wenying - Mentally insane partner of mine and prez of the SA club! Waahaha. You and Vaness are so bad to Mrs Teo man, never say anything during Lit remedial. Many great memories with you in it for this whole year. You helped me to be disciplined and focus on my work, thank you.

Well, sis wants to blog, so I'll let her. Toodles!

Bar bee que

2006-11-17T22:35:00.000+08:00

Whew, i'm tired. Uncle Jeff arranged a barbeque gathering for cell today, so the little kiddies (Caleb, Jana, and Jessie) came to play. Benita, Sis, and I babysitted them. Woah, it's been quite awhile since I've played in the playground. It was kind of a re-lived childhood moment when I join them in playing catch. I also forgot how tiring it can be! Well, maybe it's just because I've grown a little older....

It was fun, we also played with the see-saws. Caleb is really heavy for his age.. He didn't need to sit with someone else when he was on the see-saw with me; He managed fine on his own. Then Ben and Jessie joined in and I was trapped in mid-air. So sis came to help me. Ahaha.. It was quite a sight, kids on one end and teenage sisters on the other. It made me realise how much I miss being a kid, at the same time, I'm quite glad that I'm at this age now. Hmm.. Mixed feelings..

At the barbeque pit, the stray cats started coming. I think it was one huge family, the little kittens were there too. It was obvious they wanted something to gobble up, so I threw a few small pieces of food. They were actually quite healthy & clean looking for stray cats... There must be someone looking after them then.
THE KITTENS WERE SOOOOO CUTE!!!!! AAIIEEEEE!!! LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE 'EM!
I especially liked a white one with a black patch on it's nose and on it's ears. SO ADORABLE!

I think that's enough squealing. Heh...

BUT THEY WERE SO CUTEEEEEE~~!!!!

Right, I'm done...

SO TEENSY WEENSY!!! SO TEMPTING TO PICK ONE UP AND CUDDLE IT!!! ('cept I might get scratched)

Ahem, yeah, definitely done.

Even Jana was leaning over the ledge and calling out to the cats. She went something like, "Cat! Caaattt!! Come... Cooommee..! COOOMEEE....!!!" Ahahaa. It was rather amusing to see her like that. I wonder if I ever was like that at her age, not necessarily to cats.

Overall, I enjoyed myself. I had a great time babysitting the little ones. Heh. Time to go now, toodles!

waiting

2006-11-15T10:21:00.000+08:00

Well, I found something to wear for Grad. lunch alright, but it costs $103.95. So I'm debating whether to get it or not. Oh well, no hurry, I have until next next week. It was a crazy day of shopping on Monday, walking here and there. Plus the fact that i'm rather picky didn't help i guess.. as well as Crystal having certain rules to what she's wearing.. but that i can understand. I also made a new friend, his name is Cory. He reminds me of Kumar for some reason- don't ask me why. He's funny in a sense, but a little too straightforward. He also makes you wanna throw something at him now and then..

Right now, I'm waiting to take my geog mcq paper, which is at 4+pm! I don't know why they have to make it so late. It's ridiculous, I might end up forgetting to go for the paper because I've waited for too long!

...
Nah... the paper is too important. I'll definitely be there- I hope.

It feels so strange, that O level is pretty much over. Study so much, do the paper and then... that's it, you're never going to know exactly what it is you understand. You just get the grade. What's the point in that really? I know the grade can help you to choose where you'll end up, but isn't education about learning? Aren't exams and tests meant to help find out what you know? If we're never going to see the paper, we wouldn't know why we got that particular grade. We wouldn't know what went right, or wrong. Then what's the point? In the end, you can't correct your mistakes, or learn from them. It's just done for that one letter which will determine how you've done.

SO STUPID.

Right, sorry about that, been quite moody lately, so that paragraph turned out like that. As I was saying, it feels strange, being able to finally relax (until next year that is). I think.. I think i miss studying... Hah, as if. Nah, I don't miss it, it just feels weird. Well, it's back to waiting, and studying for Geog. Toodles!

almost over

2006-11-12T21:55:00.000+08:00

The O level exam is almost over! Finally, 2 more MCQ papers to go... So I've already started slacking.
Heh.
Wheeeee~~~!!!

I got a chance to slack today, chilled at Faith's home with JiaEn, Benita, Lydia, sis and of course, Faith. I also got a chance to meet Checkers! He is such an adorable dog, except for the biting habit... A real pervert too. I was playing the drums game on JiaEn's laptop, and had to kneel on the floor with the laptop placed on the sofa. That's when I felt something touching my butt... I turned around, and found Checkers snout on my butt. JiaEn starting laughing, and distracted Checkers for me. What is this maan... Faith ah, please teach your dog not to sniff people's butt just like that! Heh..

After chilling at Faith's the family went to watch "Flushed Away". It's a cute show; short and sweet; great animation and humourous. Plus, the humour wasn't exactly the in your face kind of humour. There were little things in the show that made me laugh... Though I'm not going to say what, you'll just have to watch it. If you don't know what the show is about, check out the website - www.flushedaway.com.

Tomorrow I'm going shopping with Crys, Nessa ans Cassie at Far East Plaza for an outfit for grad. lunch, so hopefully i'll be able to find something.. considering the fact that i'm real fussy.. Heh.. Oh well, so see you around!

The greatest in Heaven

2006-10-04T22:03:00.000+08:00

Matthew 20:26-28 "... whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave– just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

This verse was used for reflection's during today's morning assembly, following this month's theme- yeomanship (no such word by the way, it's made up). [Side note: In the past, to be a yeoman, is to be a servant.] In this world at this day and age, Man strives to succeed, to be the greatest. Don't we have countries or politicians fighting for power? Don't we have businessmen, bankers and lawyers trying to make big profits because it is a sign of success? Even in schools, and the workplace, there is some sort of competition to rise above the others. So selfish and greedy Man has become that he would fight to be the best.

Yet, it is those who are unselfish and caring that will be the greatest in heaven. It is those who puts others before oneself who will be the greatest in heaven. It is the stranger who gave you a few coins so that you can take the bus, that will be the greatest in heaven. It is the competitor willing to humble his/herself and congratulate you when you win, who is the greatest in heaven. It is the friend willing to put aside personal study time to coach you, who will be the greatest in heaven. It is the neighbour who helped you to carry a couple of bags of groceries that will be the greatest in heaven. The list goes on, but the irony is there.

Funny how we strive for the things that don't really count. Funny how we can go on a wild goose chase for the uneccesary, unimportant things, and fling what's really important out of the window. How stupid is that? I wonder why God didn't make us any smarter, to at least recognise the important stuff, stuff we need and need to want. Oh well, I s'pose I'll have to ask him when I get to heaven.

One more point that I've learnt this morning is...

If we do not learn to serve Man, then how can we expect to serve God?

Honestly, we are all the same, creations of God, children of God- a spiritual family. Is we cannot serve each other, who is of equal status (that being God's children), then how can we possibly serve God who is so much greater and that powerful? We simply can't.

Well, as I leave this reflection for you to ponder upon, I shall end of with this prayer.

Dear Lord, forgive me for my ignorance and selfish attitude. Teach me to give way to others and to humble myself. Help me to see the importance of serving others so that I can serve you. Keep my heart and mind open to you, and fill me with your love, so that this love can overflow and reach others. Thank you. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Char's done the quiz!

2006-09-23T22:21:00.000+08:00

to sarah :) (from Char)
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
you're the one with the cute and oh so chubby face! (looks at photo and starts laughing) hah! :)

[em.. ok.. chubby.. sure..]

2. I'll challenge you to try something.
draw something which represents how you usually feel =D

[no problem. i haven't drawn in awhile though.. nevertheless, i'll show it to you this Sunday!]

3.I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.
brown

[ooh... cool. may i ask why?]

4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
your ability to dance well and you being rather outspoken and daring :)

[ahaha. don't know if still can dance well anot, it's been a long time since i've danced, but thanks anyway!]

5.I'll tell you my first/clearest memory about you.
the girl whom i wanted to say hi to but decided not to because i was sorta fearful, or rather paiseh?! HAH!

[hah! you told me you were scared of me! ch'... i'm not scary at all man! i'm NICE!]

6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
i can't think of any! but a cute and chubby one! :D one which goes..."mmmm" with that cute smile! oh no it's beginning to sound like a human! aha!

[noooo... human so boring.. i help you choose - a hamster!]

7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
what is something that you've always been longing for?

[hmm.. good question, i'll have to get back to you on that]

8. You must post this on your blog! =D
[done!]

Pictures painted

2006-09-04T23:23:00.000+08:00

For JiaEn
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
I like holding your hand too! hahahaha! I also don't know why...!

2. I'll challenge you to try something.
Now that you've rebonded your hair, go get a skirt and WEAR IT. If not, i'll get you one!

3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.
Pink

4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
Your love for animals! I'll never be able to understand it, but I definitely admire that in you

5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory about you.
The tall girl with the tall guy, who I later realised was your brother. Heh..

6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
Dog, i think we all know why :)

7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
How many animals do you plan to have living with you???

8. You must post this on your blog!!

For Lydia
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
We should do more stuff like t-shirt making together! It was fun having you around!

2. I'll challenge you to try something.
Speak out more! Dare to express! BE CRAZIER! Oh, and to display your artistic talent!
I know it's hidden in there somewhere!

3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.
Black

4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
You are really nice! You've got a good heart, and though you get irritated, I've yet
to see you retaliate, which is good!

5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory about you.
A girl who's tall for your age, in black clothes, and real quiet. not anymore though!

6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
A sparrow

7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
Were there any other English names that you wanted to have?

8. You must post this on your blog!!

For Charmaine
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
The way you tell stories is really amusing, you just can't stop laughing sometimes!

2. I'll challenge you to try something.
Finish 3/4 of the "The English Teacher" for prelims!

3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.
Blue grey

4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
Your passion for God, it's really quite awe-inspiring. You also have a certain spiritual
maturity in you that I like.

5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory about you.
when you were the new girl in church, i knew you as "Ryan's cousin" and "that girl in my school".
Man have things changed, all for the better!

6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
A laughing Kookaburra

7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
Hmmm... Why do you like black so much??

8. You must post this on your blog!!

For DeQi
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
You have very strange nicknames!

2. I'll challenge you to try something.
Play a prank on Rachel!!! Wahahahaha!

3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.
Green

4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
Your sense of humour, although you can be a bit lame at times. Your also very easy to talk to,
and to disturb! Ahahaha..!

5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory about you.
One of the tall dudes. Your sense of humour, and your fear of my dad

6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
Horse

7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
Why did you decide to help out in Poiema?

8. You must post this on your blog!!

If there are others who still want me to do this, you know what to do!

the doggy response

2006-09-04T22:03:00.000+08:00

To sarah k:

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
i like to hold your hand! HAHA! i dunno why man..! =D

[ooh... i'm so touched! ahaha!]

2. I'll challenge you to try something.
errr... make a weird and disgusting food/drink and finish it! haha.. i noe u very daring one.

[ok, set! i'll do it after my Os.. then if i got stomuch problems, i make you pay for my medical bills!]

3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.
yellow!

[whee~! why man??]

4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
i like how you'll go mad with me! like really, really crazy. haha.. and how nice you are to everybody! your love for Daddy.. and and ur cheerfulness!

[wahahaha! then we should go mad together more often! and take more vids of it! BUT don't show other ppl leii, wait they capture me and put me in IMH]

5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory about you.
er... the serious looking girl. haha.. but now i noe its fake one! haha..

[cool man, i look serious! and it's not always fake ok... i can be serious waann!]

6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
bull doggie! haha.. that ez link pic of yours!

[waah.. what is this mannn... i'm hurt..]

7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
when are we making another sims family with the you-know-whose-names?! haha!

[we'll do it the next time i go to your hse! don't care if you-know-who is there!]

8. You must post this on your blog!!

Squirted by sotong!

2006-09-02T18:51:00.000+08:00

For Sarah
1. I'll respond with something random about you.
Your artistic flair seems pretty good leh...from what I've seen so far. Could be something you want to pursue eh? :)
[Thanks! It happened to be something I wanted to pursue too! Right now, I'm leaving it up to God to provide me with the opportunities..]

2. I'll challenge you to try something.
Do a whole song with just the keyboard playing the full lyrical tune, and handling the vocals all by yourself! :)
[Full lyrical tune.. as in melody? I've done that before I think, in the privacy of my home. Hohoho. I do these things in PRIVATE]

3. I'll pick a colour that I associate with you.
Purple
[Well, waddaya know! My favourite colour! I'd like to know why though.. hmm]

4. I'll tell you something I like about you.
Your willingness to speak up and offer what you can to cover when no one seems willing to come forth.
[Really? Cool, but it gets tiring though.]

5. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory about you.
The outspoken girl who has the courage and is always ready to share and express what she feel and thinks. Abit too strong in fact! :D
[Eh.. does that mean I should be more quiet and reserved? I can do that you know, used to be like that I think]

6. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
Lion cub
[Aw man... so close to my favourite animal.. the tiger! It's ok though, I looovvee cubs of the big cats! Soooo cute! RAWR]

7. I'll ask you something I've always wanted to ask you.
What is the one thing that can cause you to react and show an outburst of anger right on the spot?
[Hahaha.. I don't quite know. Should've asked me when I used to have a really short fuse. I think would be if someone disgraces God with such amusement in any way, righteous anger will seep in]

----------------------------------------------------------------

Seeing as I've been squirted by sotong, I s'pose I'll join in the fun. Though I wouldn't have you say "squirt me some ink sotong!", instead tag me with "paint me a picture princess!"

Last Night

2006-08-19T13:35:00.000+08:00

I was typing a nice long entry when the screenn blanked out, forcing me to restart the computer. Since I pretty much lost the mood to blog, but refuse to let this minor thing stop me from blogging, I'll just go straight to the point.

FALLING SICK IS ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE! To be more precise, LAST NIGHT was ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE. It was at about 8pm after a shower that I was getting that freezing-although-I'm-burning sensation. Afraid that I would get a fever, I immediately went to bed with a blankie wrapped around me. (I was feeling cold, to heck with the burning-on-the-inside part) Unfortunately, I woke up later at about 9.30pm to feeling like I was on fire- except I wouldn't really know how that feels like, would I?- and my head HURT, as if i was

a) rammed into the wall a few times (no wait, I don't know how this feels either)

b) shot in the head (nah, definitely have no idea what this feels like, I'm too nice to be shot at)

c)having a migrane (actually, I don't know this either... argh, I GIVE UP, you get my point!)

The two hankies that my granma soaks in ice water had to be replaced in less than a minute. Everytime I placed one on my head, it hurt even more. When I checked my temperature, the thermometer read 39.29 degrees! I was still freezing half to death at the same time. What made it worse was that everyone in the house wanted to watch their tv shows and Mum & Dad were out, so I was pretty much left alone.

Let me tell you, feeling all alone when I was that sick SUCKED. (maybe because i'm spoiled brat too) My head hurt so bad that I just squatted on the floor (lying down felt worse) and I was burning so much that I got desperate. Plus, God didn't seem to be listening to me. So what did I do? From just praying to God, I cried out to Him - out loud. I really cried, hot tears pouring down my cheeks. (which turned out to be a good thing) Then only when I was about done crying did my granma appear to give me my meds and etc. Mum and Dad also opened the front door. WOOT.

Mum gave me a couple of pills and water to help me "sweat it out" as some would call it and turned on the fan. The blankie was set aside so I would be kept cool. I thought this to be kinda ironic, but nevermind.

Then came the highlight of it all, my granma insisted on doing what I would now call "egg therapy". I nodded my head (I was still squatting on the floor) though I was kinda worried, because all I remember was that I hated it after she did it when I was 8 years old. Since I couldn't remember the reason, I thought why not? It was a good thing I let her! It felt like a mud facial + body massage. It was even better because my nose was too blocked to smell the stench -which Rach claimed she could smell from outside the room. After that, I fell into a deep sleep- a very nice sleep too, considering the fact that I didn't wake up in the morning.

I guess God was waiting for me to cry out for Him, because I remember saying that I didn't feel desperate enough for Him. So I suppose He helped me along- Thank you God. Then maybe when He got the response He wanted, He came. Hmmmm. It's not that God is selfish or evil, but I know that He wants us to need Him, and somestimes the only way to achieve it is to create a situation where they will turn to Him.

Well, that's all I pretty much have to say for tonight. So... buhbye!

Prayer time!

Thank you God, for helping me be desperate for you. Thank you for healing Rachel and Ben from the flu as well. I now pray that you'll heal nainai and I- since it became our turn to fall sick- and that you will protect the rest of the family. Give Daddy the wisdom he needs for tomorrow's preaching and a ear to listen to Your voice so that he will speak what You want him to speak. I love You, in Jesus' name, Amen.

Yesterday

2006-08-12T13:33:00.000+08:00

I received my Chinese O level results yesterday; I got a C6 grade. Strangest thing is though, when I saw my results, I felt nothing. I mean, I wasn't elated that I passed, nor wdecision. as I upset I didn't get the B I was hoping for. It was more of an "oh, okay" kind of reaction. Dad wants me to retake the paper, I don't know if I should. So I shall just pray for God's decision.. Though I heard that in my school, Chinese paper has to be retaken if one did not get B4 and above. Hmm...

I also had my English O level oral! I didn't freak out till I was sitting on the waiting chair. I think I can just make it for the distinction mark though, I hope so anyway. The teachers were nice though, friendly people.

At night, I went for Planetshakers praise and worship! IT WAS AWSOME! The chair were set up at the back, and there was a big space at the front for us to stand. The girls (Evan, JiaEn, Lydia and Rach) and I headed to the front. It was hard to jump though, people put their bags on the floor and the people in front of us jumped backwards whilst the people behind us jumped forward. Haha. The 'concert' was good though, my calves are aching right now. The sharing by a pastor from planetshakers was funny too.

Oh, and the goody bag had this face paint thing causing us girls to go mad and draw on each other. We took photos and videos though. I'll load it into the comp later tonight. I gotta do some math now though, so see you around!

Art - the most time consuming subject

2006-08-01T20:42:00.000+08:00

Man... It's been close to a month since I've blogged, even dear ms En aka senior pok aka Ms Toot had to tell me to update because my blog was dying. Well, recently, I've been quite busy with my school work, especially art. Now, I can safely say that my art boards are off my hands!!! I don't have to stress over them anymore!!!!!! YES!!!! (well, i better not have to stress over them anymore!)

I now declare that art is the most time-consuming subject that I have taken so far in my life. I doubt anything can beat that, but we'll see. I spent most of my time doing art, in fact, I was so focused on it (we hand to hand the boards in by today) that I completely forgot that I had Chem and Bio test on Monday! Thankfully, I scrapped past the passing mark for Chem, unfortunately, Bio results were pretty bad. Now I'm not sure I want to take Art if I get to JC. Hmmm... Should I? or should I not?

Anyhoo, now all I have to do is complete the canvas, and paper 1 is finished. Then there's paper 2, but let's not go into that. I'm taking my O level English oral on Friday next week! Please keep me in prayer (when you pronounce it, it's a silent 'Y'. learnt that in English today. haha) Basically pray that I'll be calm, because when I get nervous my voice starts to crack and I sound like I'm about to cry. We don't want that happening do we? No, we don't. Like my English teacher said today, "you have to show the examiners that you have a brain, and that you can actually use that brain to make intelligent conversation." So.... yeah.

Right now I'm also reading "the God catchers". It's a great book, and I'm sloowwlly devouring it. Haa... I think these kind of books shouldn't be read at one go, but absorbed bit by bit. So I'm gonna take awhile, sorry Evan aka Ms Soot, I'll be taking quite awhile. Just so you know though, I'm 5/12 done with it. It's really helped me... because I've been feeling God around me, but not, for lack of better word, in me. So yeah, it's helped me to cope. I realise that I'm not hungry enough for Him and His presence to get closer to Him. I also know I can't make myself hunger for Him just like that. So I'm waiting around. Strangely though, there's this peace in me that I think comes from God. Maybe he's saying that it's alright and He is still around. I know He still helps me out though, He delayed me giving a speech in class for about a couple of weeks when I had no idea what my topic should be. God is good, all the time!

Now, I've got something light-hearted to share with y'all! A poem! Got it from Lit class... so here you go!

This Poem...
This poem is dangerous: it should not be left
Within the reach of children, or even of adults
Who might swallow it whole, with possibly
Undesirable side-effects. If you come across
An unattended, unidentified poem
In a public place, do not attempt to tackle it
Yourself. Send it (preferably, in a sealed container)
To the nearest centre of learning, where it will be rendered
Harmless, by experts. Even the simplest poem
May destroy your immunity to human emotions.
All poems must carry a Government warning. Words
Can seriously affect your heart.

Elma Mitchel

Oh! And I saw the mozzie that's been biting my family and I for the past few months. It's gotten to be quite big; Too bad it flew off before I could smack the thing. Oh well, that's all I have for tonight! Toorah!

Awake

2006-07-08T02:50:00.000+08:00

Here I am, awake at two in the morning. Why? Because mozzies attacked me (ok, maybe it was just one) and now my feet itches like crazy, as well as back, leg and arm. By the way, I also have a cold now. This is just faaanntastic. Oh well, might as well study something... I think I'll do Chem.. Yeah, I will. See you peeps around, and good morning world!

Respect

2006-07-04T21:54:00.000+08:00

Philipians 2:3-4"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others."

This is the verse that my English teacher shared with us today during morning assembly, for the month's theme is respect. Recently in an article we can see that Singapore is ranked the 30th most courteous country out of 35 - which basically means that we Singaporeans aren't courteous at all. To have no courtesy would mean we do not respect people enough.

Respect isn’t all about courtesy though. If we are not punctual, be it for appointments or handing in work, we disrespect the time we have; and not only our time, but others’ time as well. If we break the rules for whichever place we’re in, we disrespect the authorities of the place and the people in it.

I think it’s really sad that we, even as Christians, can be wanting in this area, adults and youth alike. Yet, we are to be the light that leads people to God. How can we do that if we don’t even respect each other in the first place? Not to mention unbelievers…

What was sadder still was that I can see that nothing went into the heads of many of those in the school – even the teachers. Disrespect continues to be displayed countless times despite the sharing that morning. I suppose we do deserve to be ranked so 30th in the list.

Oh Lord. Teach me to be respectful, to put others before myself. Forgive me for the countless times I’ve disobeyed Your word by being disrespectful. Also, help my friends to learn respect. For by respecting Your creation, do we respect You.
Amen.

2006-07-03T23:04:00.000+08:00

Thank You so much for not leaving me! Thank You, thank You, thank You. Although the closeness isn't entirely there, I know we're getting there. I love You so so much. Thank You. The joy I feel at us becoming closer again is overwhelming. Please, continue to come closer, for I need You very much. Amen.

Well! The days have been alright lately, except I've been feeling kind of down.. I don't know. It's as if after I wrote that letter to God, the evil D decided to wham me with mind games. Like, I've been critisising myself, feeling lonely, becoming bossy, stupid, depressed or whatever. Looks like you didn't succeed you evil D. Hah. So shooo...! Don't bother me anymore because I've got God on my side. Evil thing with so much free time... Ch'

Heh heh. Anyway, yeah, I'm feeling better. Although it wouldn't seem like much of a difference because I'm good at masking myself. So! Two pieces of good news:

1) ARIEL AND FAMILY IS COMING TO SINGAPORE! From 11th to 24th July! Wooot! I miss them so much! Ever since they moved to Thailand, it's been kinda lonely. So it's a good thing they're coming! Thank goodness for the international school's 3 month summer!

2) I found my perfect heels! Finally! Haha. It cost about 32 bucks, so I took forever deciding whether or not I should buy them- Especially since they are hard to match. In the end, I got them. No regrets! Now if only I can figure out how to match them...

Anyway, that's all I have to say for tonight. So good night people!

letter to God 290606

2006-06-29T22:18:00.000+08:00

I feel like I've lost this closeness with You.

Why?

This sense of drifting away scares me.

I know there is a reason why I feel this. Is it just my imagination? Or have I done something that hurt You?

If so, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for doubting, for asking so many 'why?'s. I'm sorry for choosing to fall in small temptations. Forgive me..
Please come back. Don't leave... I need You- when I'm sad, glad, mad, or simply content. You are my rock, and my comfort. I need You so so much...

It's hard right now, having this feeling of emptiness. Even when I'm happy, I'm not truly happy. When I'm sad, I feel quite depressed. All because You're not around. I feel like crying, but I can't.

I know You'll be back.. I just want to know how long will it take? Maybe You just want me to realise all the more how much I need You. Well, I know now.. I'm pretty sure I do. Nevertheless, let not my will but Yours be done.

I love You, and I know You love me too.

quiz

2006-06-25T21:51:00.000+08:00

since dear Ms En aka s.pok aka Ms Toot wants me to do this...

Q1) Ever been given a ring?
nope..
Q2) Longest relationship?
haha. my relationship with God... BEFORE birth!
Q3) Last gift you gave?
does the card for the camp thing count?
Q4) How many times have you dropped your cell?
3 to 5 times... my poor phone!
Q5) Last sport played?
went cycling yesterday.. that counts right?
Q6) Things you spend alot of money on?
food. definitely food
Q7) Three things you ate last?
hmm... burger, cup noodles, and salmon n mushroom speghetti.
Q8) What you notice first about the opposite sex?
i don't really know. overall look?
Q9) One favorite song:
haha. that would be too hard to choose. let's just say love songs to Jesus are the best
Q10) Where do you live?
for fear of possible creepy stalkers, it will not be revealed. =)
Q11) High school you attended?
CHIJ Sec
Q12) Cell phone service provider?
M1
Q13) Favorite Mall store?
nil..
Q14) Longest job held?
eh.. never had a job. ask me in the future
Q15) Do you own a pair of dice?
... no
Q16) Do you prank call people?
I'm lousy at it, so no.
Q17) Last wedding attended?
I can't remember... hmmm
Q18) First friend you call if you won the lottery?
are you kidding me?? why would I play lottery? It's a sin you know!
Q19) Last time you attended church?
last sunday.
Q20) Favorite fast food restaurant?
err.. none really. i don't do favourites
Q21) Biggest lie you've heard?
that 'Da Vinci Code' book i suppose
Q22) Where do you work?
currently unemployed
Q23) Where do you go to college?
ask me again next year. IF i get into college
Q24) Can you cook?
ahaha. define 'cook'
Q25) What kinda car do you drive?
hah. ask me again in 2 years baby! JUST 2 YEARS! woot!
Q26) Best kisser?
.... Can't say. I guess my family then. All the pecks on the cheek make me feel warm inside. =)
Q27) Last time you cried?
on the Thailand mission trip, when God let me feel a teeeeensy bit of his love for the Thai children. That was overwhelming.
Q28) Most hated food?
can't think of any at the moment. I'll just put 'none'
Q29) Thing you like most about yourself?
I'm not too sure..
Q30) Thing you hate most about yourself?
My temper.. haha
Q31) Have a secret you can't tell?
heh heh.. yes.
Q32) Longest shift worked?
haha. cant say when I've never had a job
Q33) Favorite movie?
like i said before, I don't do favourites
Q34) Can you sing?
I sing ok.. i think..
Q35) Last concert attended?
Rachel's school concert
Q36) Favorite restaurant?
none in particular.
Q37) Last movie rented?
woah. i can't remember.
Q38) Favorite alcoholic drink?
DRINKING IS BAD! DON'T DRINK!
Q39) Thing you never leave home without?
God's Holy Spirit. =)
Q40) Immediate vacation spot?
Australia just popped into my mind.. so Australia it is
Q41) Reason you did this quiz?
Ms En asked me to, and because I'm nice
Q42) 4 lovely people to do this quiz?
I'll let whoever who wants to do it, do it.

.

2006-06-21T21:08:00.000+08:00

Woah. I'm back! Actually, I was back on Saturday night.. i just didn't blog is all. The Thailand trip was fantastic! God did many many big things. Haha, too many to name! My inkling was half right afterall. I said he would do something big, turned out, he did many big somethings. Haha. I shan't tell you all of them though. However, I will state one thing that God did for me during the trip.. He helped me to be still and listen for Him. I mean, I've tried being still before, but my mind is usually filled with questions in my head- like why? and How? and when? and you're having a laugh out of this aren't you? - thing like that. This time, I am able to actually wait and listen out for his voice. So I really thank God for that.

That aside, I have a poem I want to share!

I fell asleep in class, i did,
because i was so bored.
I put my head upon my desk,
closed my eyes and snored.
I woke to find a piece of paper
stuck upon my face.
I'd slobbered on my textbooks
and my hair was a disgrace.
I had a massive headache
my eyes were glazed and red,
my binder left a three ring
indentation on my head.
I slept right through the period
and would've slept somemore,
but my students woke me
as they headed out the door.

Wahahaha! So cute! My sis showed me this poem today. I used to have it in my old phone though, so this is quite old.. hahah! Plus, before my sis showed me, I was laughing at Mr Lun because I pictured him as a teacher. Ahaha.. The teacher above could be hiimm!!!(if he ever teaches) Wahahahahhaha~! Oh well, I've stopped laughing now. Haa~~

See you around!

Thailand trip

2006-06-11T22:33:00.000+08:00

I'm going to Thailand tomorrow! BUT I'M SICK! Gaahh... I hate falling sick; not even if I get to miss school. The feeling I get is just not worth it. Maybe it's because when I fall sick, it's usually pretty bad- with fever and vomiting and all that. Note, the word is usually. I guess it was a lucky thing that Mum called us to go home when she did, considering the fact that the fever came when I was on the bus freezing half to death.I kind of knew I was sick, but to me, if I don't need to lie on the bed, I'm alright. Then again, there was this one time I went to school because I wasn't bedridden, and a fews days later, the whole row fell sick. Hmmm...

Anyway, I've been having mixed feelings about the Thailand trip. I'm excited about the mission trip due to the fact that it will be my first time going overseas for missions. Also, I have this inkling that God is going to do something big (for/ to me) when I go there. It's the same inkling I got before leaving for Australia last year, and y'all have heard my testimony, so yeah... I think my instincts towards this kind of things are preetty accurate. Heh.

However, there's the feeling that I'm not ready for this. That's partly one of the reasons why I told my Mum I don't want to go. (Of course, one look at her countenance told me to agree to go) Also the fact that I do feel a biiit uncomfortable with sharing the word, which I know is selfish of me. That's why I'm going to push myself to do it. Haha. Fear shall not have a foothold over me! This reminds me of the time I was afraid to be in the dark, or alone. So going to places (like the loo) was sort of scary, until I forced myself to go on my own. Now I'm pretty okay with it. Hah...

So pray for me to get well please, I'm leaving tomorrow at about 10am i think. I can't really remember, my brain's kinda fuzzy. Thanks you people, and see you when I get back!